Broken
by YetAnotherFan2010
Summary: Bella, a 25 year old single mother, will be forced to face her past when her best friend Alice announces she's engaged... B/E
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

It was a chilly fall evening in Seattle but Alice felt oh so warm. She was gliding, and skipping, and grinning, down the busy street. She felt like the happiest, luckiest girl in the world. She looked up to her fiancée and his expression was a reflection her own. He grinned back at her, his eyes shinning with bliss and adoration. He bent down and kissed her softly - sensually. She couldn't stop smiling, her eyes looking down at her hand for the millionth time. She admired that special finger, which now had a beautiful, perfect ring on it. She twirled and laughed, and Jasper giggled and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. They kissed slow and deep, ignoring the other pedestrians who stared and frowned at them.

When they arrived in front of her apartment building, she paused, her smile faltering a little. The complete lightness she had been feeling became a little heavier. She worried for her best friend, her sister, her only family. And right then, she couldn't push away the feeling of guilt.

As always, Jasper was attuned to her feelings and he grabbed her hand, letting her know that he was here to support her. He knew that announcing their engagement to Bella was a bittersweet affair. Alice, Bella and her son Tony had become a family, and she didn't want to break it up. She had helped raise Tony since he was only 3 weeks old, and thinking of being separated from them made her sad. Alice knew that Bella would be happy for her, but Alice couldn't help wondering how Bella would manage once she got married. It would be hard on her and Alice didn't want to be the reason that Bella would suffer once again.

Jasper squeezed her hand and she looked up at him, and she couldn't help but smile at the beautiful man staring at her with pure love. She knew deep in her heart that he was worth it.

Bella had a headache and she was glad that Tony had finally fallen asleep because it had been a long, trying day and she had no more patience for her son at this moment. She picked up a few toys on her way to the living room and put them down in a corner in a meager attempt to make the apartment look cleaner. Alice had just texted her to say that she was on her way home and that Jasper would be with her.

Bella sat down on the couch, finally taking a second for herself. She grabbed her cup of tea that she had made earlier and took a sip, making a face because the tea was completely cold. She closed her eyes and thought about her best friend. Alice had been dating Jasper for almost a year now but Bella had never met him. She wasn't sure why that was. First, she wondered if Tony was the reason why. They both didn't want Tony to meet the guys she dated in case it didn't last. But Bella knew that Jasper was different from all the other guys Alice had dated before. Bella could tell that Alice was in love with him and that it was serious. Bella worried that the real reason she didn't talk more about her relationship to her was because Alice could tell that Bella's heart ached every time the word love was mentioned. Bella couldn't think about love without heart-wrenching pain. At that thought, Bella's chest constricted, her breath wavering with sorrow. She opened her eyes and skillfully pushed away all thoughts of the reason why she was suffering. She had learned through therapy and through years of practice how to push away the memories of her past. She took deep, steady breaths and reminded herself of what was good in her life. Her baby. Her best friend. Her supportive friends. Her job. Her apartment.

The door opened and Alice came in, followed by Jasper.

"Honey, I'm home!" she joked as she hurried to the living room.

Bella got up, put a smile on her face and went to greet them.

"Hi!" she said as she hugged her friend. "How was your trip?"

Alice wanted to jump and scream her news, but she knew better and tried to take things slow. She couldn't resist grinning though, and Bella smiled back. Alice noticed that she looked tired and felt a twinge of guilt.

"It was great." Alice answered as she pulled Jasper closer. "Bella, this is Jasper."

Jasper bowed his head and then extended his hand. " It's an honor to finally meet you, Bella," he said politely. He felt nervous to meet the only family Alice had. He knew that Bella and Tony were extremely important to Alice and so this was a big deal.

Bella smiled and shook his hand. "Hi Jasper, it's nice to finally put a face to the name," she joked while her eyes met his for the first time. And then she froze, recognizing these gentle eyes too well. It was an instant punch to her gut. Memories that had been pushed deep inside for so long came rushing up. She felt nauseous. She quickly looked away, afraid that the pain would be noticeable, and pulled her hand back from his. She felt like her legs couldn't carry her anymore. She wanted to crawl to a dark corner and hide. She wished she could erase the memory of these eyes and forget about that horrendous day when she had seen him before. That had been the day when she'd lost her heart.

But beyond the agony, and through the haziness of her thoughts, she heard her friend's happiness cut through her meltdown.

"It's amazing to finally have the most important people in my life together in the same room," Alice cheered.

Bella owed Alice this much, and so she took a deep, shaky breath and turned around.

"Let's go sit down. I want to hear about your trip," she croaked out as cheerfully as she could manage.

She walked slowly to the couch, her every step weak and strenuous. Alice and Jasper were following her. With her back to them, she felt a little more in control. She felt as if her whole body was shaking, and her throat tightened so much it was impossible to swallow or talk at all. But she pushed through. She refused to think about where she knew him from. She pushed all thoughts away as she settled on the couch, the couple sitting down across from her, clasping hands and smiling. She counted her breath, and felt her heartbeat gradually slow down. She couldn't freak out now, not when Alice looked so happy and Jasper was the reason for it. Alice deserved love and happiness and all things good. Alice was an amazing person and she had sacrificed too much already for her and Tony. So she looked back up at them and forced a smile that was not quite perfect. Alice stared back at her, full of questions and worries.

Jasper was not paying attention to the girls because he was looking around the apartment, curious about every little aspect of it. He relished in finally seeing the place where Alice lived. He couldn't believe that he had been with her for almost a whole year, and that he was going to marry her, and yet he had never seen her apartment.

The worried voice of his fiancée brought him back to them.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. So tell me? What's the big news?" Bella answered, a somewhat awkward smile on her face. Jasper noticed that she looked a little pale. Her face seemed somewhat familiar but he wasn't sure where he would've known her from.

He looked to his side and found Alice studying her friend with a suspicious look. For a few, long seconds, nobody said anything and Jasper wondered what was happening.

"Alice," Bella pled. "I'm fine. I promise."

Alice examined her friend for a few more seconds before nodding and exhaling.

"So? How was your little vacation?" Bella asked again.

Alice turned to look at Jasper and smiled widely. He smiled back at her, completely enamored.

"It was amazing! And something really important happened!" Alice exclaimed with so much animation. She couldn't sit still. " So, Bella, you know you and Tony are my family. You are like a sister to me," Alice continued, her nerves reappearing. "And so I wanted you to be the very first one to know," she paused, adding suspense to the news, "Jasper proposed! And I said yes!" She exclaimed, her joy bursting through her trepidation. She bounced and waived her ring finger in the air.

Bella jumped off the couch, squealing, and ran to hug her friend. "Oh my god, Alice! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" She shouted enthusiastically as Alice was bouncing in her arms, a beautiful grin plastered on her face.

Bella refused to let her broken heart, her past, and her own anxieties damper Alice's happy news. She ignored the ache that was twisting inside of her. She focused on her friend's smile, and on taking one breath at a time. She acted as delighted as possible. She listened with forced excitement to the details of how Jasper proposed, and she managed to laugh and celebrate with them, even if deep inside, she was utterly sick with the fact that Alice was marrying into this particular family. And that she might not be able to push her past away any longer.

...

_I hope you're intrigued. Let me know what you thing :)_

_I have a few chapter written already, so hopefully I'll update soon. xoxo_


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter takes place 6.5 years earlier...

CHAPTER 2

_Bella was lying on the grass, in the middle of a quiet meadow, far away from other hikers, with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. The sun was shining, the soft breeze caressing her skin and she felt so completely peaceful. _

_The man – her man- lying next to her, with his fingers delicately drawing patterns up and down her arm, made her feel like she was in heaven._

_Sometimes, she still couldn't believe that this was real. How could awkward, little Bella be secretly dating the most handsome man on campus? He was gorgeous, wealthy and smart. All the college girls salivated at the sight of the most beloved professor, and tried to get a piece of him. And somehow, Bella, with all her clumsiness and quirks, got to gain Professor Cullen's attention. _

_Their relationship had started innocently enough. Bella had registered for one of his literature class during freshman year, not knowing that he was the most popular professor on campus. She had felt stupid to crush on him the same as all the other girls but she hadn't been able to resist. He was not only extremely handsome, he was also smart and funny. Bella remembered how she had had to visit him during office hours to borrow a book and had felt so nervous to find herself alone with him. But as the conversation had flowed so easily, she had relaxed completely. She had ended up staying in his office for two hours, both not realizing the time passing by. Then, there had been the day when they had accidently bumped into each other at Starbucks and he had offered her to join him. They'd talked for hours again, realizing how much they enjoyed each other's company and how they made each other smile so easily. _

_Bella smiled at how things had changed so fast after that day. It hadn't been as innocent anymore. _

"_What are you smiling at, beautiful?" Her boyfriend whispered, bringing her back to the present._

_Her smile grew wider but didn't answer. _

_He turned to his side, facing his girlfriend, and watched her with so much love in his heart. She kept her eyes closed and he bent down to kiss her softly. She hummed in pleasure and her eyes fluttered open. _

_He smiled down at her and she lifted her head up just enough to close the gap once more. They took their time kissing, tasting, worshiping one another. Each touch, each caress was a declaration of their love for each other._

_Bella pulled away after a while, breathless. He stared at the beautiful girl sprawled on the grass, with her cheeks tinted red, her hair fanned around her, and stars in her gaze. _

"_Will you marry me?" He asked, his voice smooth and deep. _

_She laughed, bringing her hands to frame his gorgeous face._

"_Stop being silly, Edward," she replied, kissing him tenderly._

"_I'm not trying to be silly. I love you and I want to be with you forever."_

_Bella rolled to her side, propping her head on her hand so she could face him. _

"_I love you too. But why rush things? We've only been together for seven months. And I'm only nineteen. And you're my professor," she stated. "You would lose your job. You love your job."_

_Edward pulled her toward him and she let herself fall on top of his chest, staring down at the man she loved. They were lost in each other's gazes and the world around them didn't exist._

"_I love you more than my dream job. It's been the best seven months of my life," he avowed._

_Her heart fluttered and she grinned back at him._

"_The best seven months of my life," she repeated with bliss._

_He swiftly rolled them over so that she was laying on her back with him on top of her. Her legs automatically widen so he could settle in between them. He kissed her with fervor and she whimpered, her hands flying to his hair, her legs hooking around him. _

_When they had to stop to breathe, Edward pulled back just enough so he could look at her, his eyes locked into her dark, brighten gaze._

"_Marry me," he begged, moving his hips against her._

_She moaned, her body arching with pleasure._

_He thrust again, his mouth to her ear. _

"_Marry me, Isabella Swan."_

_He continued to tease her with his hips while taking her ear in between his teeth and pulling softy. Her head fell back, her hands gripping his hips, and her mouth opened in a silent moan. _

"_Take me home now, and make love to me, and maybe then, I'll say yes."_

_She whispered breathlessly. _

_Edward grinned and jumped up, pulling her with him. Swiftly, he hooked his arms under her legs and lifted her up. Bella screamed with surprise, instantly wrapping her arms around his neck and laughed out loud. Edward joined her in laughter as he carried her hurriedly down the hill and to his car._

_He couldn't wait to be home._

_..._

Thank you to those of you who have already reviewed and to those of you who have favorited/followed my story. Thanks for the Christmas gifts :)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU! XOXO


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

It was the middle of the night and Bella couldn't sleep. Again. She looked down at her son, who was sleeping next to her, and she brushed his wild, brownish hair back so she could admire his precious face. In the darkness, she let the tears flow freely. She couldn't help but wonder how anybody wouldn't want this beautiful boy in their life. After all these years, she still didn't understand how Edward could reject the baby they had created together.

Bella got up from her bed carefully, making sure not to wake Tony. She opened her top drawer and searched through her socks blindly. When she found the envelope that she'd been hiding there, she quietly got out of her bedroom.

She sat in the living room, holding on to the envelope, as she cried silently. She tried in vain to push away the memories of her past. But she wasn't strong enough anymore.

Sometimes, when she remembered the year and a half she had been with Edward, she still felt utterly bewildered at how things had ended. She couldn't put two and two together. The man she had loved would never have behaved the way he did. It didn't make sense.

She opened the envelope and took the check out. She stared at it with heavy heart. This was her proof that Edward was a horrible person. 25'000 dollars, made out to Isabella Swan and signed by Edward Cullen. She had stared at this very check so many times throughout the years to remind herself at how appalling a person Edward really was.

She took the second piece of paper out of the envelope and read it through teary eyes. It was a short, hand written note that had come with the check six years ago.

_Take care of it. EC_

Her whole body shook with grief, anger pulsing through her veins. She hated him.

She heard noise and quickly tucked the envelope under her shirt. Alice walked into the living room, her hair disheveled from having just woken up.

"Hey, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" Alice mumbled in her sleepy state. She examined Bella more carefully and came closer. "Oh, Bella, you're crying," she whimpered, instantly sitting next to her friend and hugging her.

Bella let herself be comforted and sniffled, wiping her tears away.

"Are you thinking about that asshole again," Alice barked, her loathing for Edward evident.

Alice hated Edward passionately, even though she knew nothing about him, not even his name.

When Bella had first met Alice at the hospital, right after she had given birth, Alice had asked about what had happened to the baby's father but Bella had been too fragile and too broken to talk about it. Alice, for once, had agreed to never ask her again about her past and Bella never volunteered to share what had happened. She still couldn't talk about it without feeling her heart break all over again.

Together, they'd decided to focus on the present, one day at a time, and started to rebuild a life for themselves. They raised Tony together and became a family.

But every time Bella would mope, or refuse to go on a date, or stop eating for days, Alice would swear that Tony's dad was the devil reincarnated. Maybe Alice didn't know what he had done to her, but she could see the aftermath of his actions on her best friend. And she hated him for that.

After a while, Bella's tears ceased. Alice distracted her by talking reminiscing about silly adventures they had experienced together through out the years. Bella smiled at the happy memories.

Finally, they got up to go to bed. Alice hugged Bella one more time and reminded her with a sweet smile that Jasper was coming over for dinner tomorrow. Bella nodded and hid the fear that crept on the inside.

…

Bella helped the head teacher clean up their classroom. They'd had art class in the afternoon and the classroom was a mess. Her coworker was chatting away but Bella barely heard one word. She was having a hard time to focus on anything these days, her mind rarely staying in the present. She was having flashbacks regularly no matter how hard she tried to repress them, and she couldn't help herself but imagine what the future would be now that Alice was marrying Jasper.

Once the room was tidier, and their students' art works put away, Bella grabbed her bag.

"I'm gonna go pick up Tony now. Have a good weekend," she told her colleague before leaving. She walked to the next room and entered.

Her son was helping his teacher put books away when he saw her at the door.

"Mommy! Can we go home now? I want to meet aunt Ali's fiancé!" He exclaimed as he jumped in her arms.

She smiled despite this heavy pit in her stomach and kissed her baby strongly.

She wanted to protect her son above anything but she wasn't sure how to do it anymore. The past was catching up with her too quickly and she was terrified. Jasper was now joining their family, and Alice was marrying into his, and Bella couldn't decide if she should run away before Tony would be exposed to the Cullens.

She worried Edward would break her son's heart the way he had shattered hers.

Alice was busy in the kitchen when Bella and Tony got home from preschool. Tony dropped his bag in the middle of the hallway and ran to the kitchen.

"Aunt Ali!" he called out and she opened her arms to greet the little man. She held him longer than usual, hugging him tightly. She was feeling nostalgic, knowing that soon, she would be moving out. She would miss being able to see her little prince every day.

Moving in with Jasper was, of course, something she was really looking forward to, but she had become so close to Bella and Tony that it was hard for her to leave them.

Bella walked into the kitchen and watched her best friend holding her son. The two friends exchanged a wistful smile, both of their eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

They had talked a lot in the past week, about their plans for the future, and how to tell Tony about the changes. They had both cried a lot and hugged, knowing that this stage of their lives was about to end.

"Hi my prince! How was school today?" Alice asked him once she let him go.

"It was fun! I told all my friends that I was meeting my uncle today! Where is he?" Tony exclaimed, searching the kitchen.

Bella immediately felt her chest constrict at hearing her son calling Jasper his uncle so easily.

Alice was Tony's aunt, not by blood, but because Alice had become their family by choice. She loved them and cared for them. So of course, Jasper, as her future husband, was becoming part of the family as well.

The only thing was that Jasper had always been Tony's uncle, by blood. It's just that nobody knew about it.

"Uncle Jay will be here soon," Alice replied with a huge smile on her face. "He can't wait to meet you."

Bella felt a nervous knot forming in her stomach. She felt extremely anxious about tonight's dinner. She wondered if Jasper would immediately notice the resemblance between Tony and his brother Edward. Would he recognize the family traits in Tony and immediately understand the implication? Would he suddenly remember who she was and that they had met once before, six years ago?

Bella felt lost in the secrets and lies and unspoken truths. She had nobody to turn to and felt so completely alone in dealing with all of it. She didn't know how she was supposed to handle the situation.

She knew she should've told Alice the truth as soon as she had realized who Jasper was. But Alice's hatred for Edward was so strong that Bella feared she would overreact if she'd find out about Jasper's relation to that evil man and she didn't want Alice's relationship with Jasper to be ruined because of her.

The doorbell rang, pulling Bella back from her thoughts. Alice's smile grew.

"Tony, come with me. Uncle Jay is here!" Alice said, taking the little man's hand and leading him to the door.

Jasper gave a small kiss to his fiancée before kneeling down to face Tony.

"You must be Tony!" he said, shaking his hand. "Your aunt talks so much about her little prince!"

Bella could see that Tony liked Jasper immediately.

"Yep, that's me! And you're my uncle Jay. You're gonna marry my aunt."

Jasper smiled and ruffled his hair.

"I heard that you love chocolate so I brought some desert for later."

Tony's eyes grew wide and grinned.

"Yay, thank you uncle Jay." He said before hugging Jasper.

Bella felt emotional to see her son with his uncle. She had always dreamed that Tony could know his family and be a part of the Cullens, but Edward had made it clear that he didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. She felt this familiar, boiling resentment toward Edward for not wanting the baby and for denying their son of a family.

Tony took Jasper's hand and led him to the living room.

"My mommy told me that aunt Ali is going to move in with you because husbands and wives live together," Tony said as they sat on the couch. " I think you should move here because we are family. We need to live together."

Alice sat next to Jasper and lifted Tony so he could sit on her lap. Bella joined them and sat on the armchair next to them.

Alice's eyes shimmered. "We will always be family. And you'll be able to come over and sleep at our place as often as you want. There's even a pool over at Jasper's apartment."

Tony smiled at that. "Really?"

Jasper nodded. "Yes. You'll always be welcomed. And aunt Ali and I will come here a lot too, to spend time with you and your mom. And you'll be able to meet my other niece and nephew. Your family is growing."

Bella's heart jumped at the mention of Jasper's niece and nephew. She felt dizzy with sadness.

"How old are your niece and nephew?" Tony asked.

"My sister Rose had twins. They just turned four."

Bella sagged in relief, utterly thankful that the kids were his sister's and not Edward's.

"I'm five and a half. I'm older than them."

"You'll have so much fun with them," Alice added.

Alice had cooked a delicious dinner and they enjoyed the meal. Tony was the center of attention and Jasper was very attentive to him. Alice loved seeing her fiancé play with Tony. He was so sweet and patient, it made her fall in love with him all over again.

"Can I sit on your lap?" Tony asked Jasper, and once again Bella's heart squeezed, moved to see her son with his uncle for the first time.

Jasper looked into Tony's gaze.

"I love your eyes. They're so green." Jasper told his nephew. "Are they from your side of the family, Bella?" He asked, turning to face her.

She panicked, swallowing with difficulty the lump in her throat.

"Mommy told me that my daddy has the same eyes as me," Tony answered. "I never met my dad so I don't know if it's true." He added, shrugging, before putting a forkful of pasta in his mouth.

Bella's muscles tensed and her stomach coiled.

"Well, you have really cool eyes, buddy," Jasper said to lighten up the mood. "My brother has green eyes too."

Bella was loosing her self-control, panic taking over. She wondered if today would be the day when the truth would be uncovered. The pounding of her heart was deafening. She couldn't eat at all.

But everybody else continued to eat and talk as if nothing had happened. Because nobody else knew the truth about Tony's dad.

...

_If I don't post again before 2015, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thanks again for your support and kind words :)_


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

_It was an early Thursday morning and the cold wind was blowing hard. Bella rushed to the outskirt of campus, her scarf hiding half of her face. As soon as she made it to their usual meet-up corner, she spotted the silver Volvo. Bella approached, a grin on her face, and wondered if it was ridiculous to still feel this much in love with somebody after being together for more than a year. _

_He beamed back at her, and leaned over to open her door. She took off her backpack and threw it in the back seat before settling in and closing the door._

"_Good morning, Ms. Cullen-to-be," he greeted her before leaning in and kissing her._

_She melted at the love he poured into the kiss. _

"_Hi, future husband," she whispered breathlessly and noticed the sparkles in his eyes at her words. _

"_I still can't believe you finally said yes," he said in wonder. "I love you, Bella."_

"_I love you too, Edward," she answered, overwhelmed with happiness._

_They drove out of the city and Bella felt excited. They were celebrating Thanksgiving together, in his family Cabin up in the mountains. Bella had promised her dad that she would stay for the whole winter break with him but that she wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her friends on campus. Her dad had grudgingly accepted the deal. _

_The roads were empty and the landscape was covered in a peaceful white sheet. They listened to classical music, enjoying the serenity around them. They glanced at each other, holding hands, and sometimes exchanging a kiss or two. The drive lasted two hours until Edward announced they were almost there._

_The roads became narrower and more winding as they went up the mountain._

"_It's so beautiful," Bella stated, staring out the window at a stream rushing through rocks and a blanket of snow. _

"_I love this place. My family and I used to come here every winter when I was younger," Edward explained as they entered a long driveway._

_Bella gasped when the house came into view in the distance._

"_Edward! This is a mansion, not a cabin in the woods!" she exclaimed, both thrilled and shocked._

_Edward laughed._

"_Well, nothing is ever minimal with my family."_

_The huge, three floor, wooden house stood perched in front of them. A porch faced a stream and a panoramic view. Huge, floor to ceiling windows brightened the place._

_Edward parked the car and jumped out. He hurried to her side and opened the door._

"_Come on, let's go inside!"_

_Bella was awed by the grandeur and the beauty of the place._

"_I know you told me your family was rich but I never knew just how rich," she chastised later in the day._

_They were cuddled on the couch after a late lunch, the fire place was lit and crackled nicely. The sun was setting and the view from the window was magical. Bella nestled closer to Edward and his arm automatically enveloped her. He kissed the top of her hair and turned the page of the photo album they were looking at. Bella couldn't stop smiling tenderly at the photos of Edward as a baby. She watched the pictures of his family with interest and longing. She wanted to meet them and be part of the family._

"_I can't wait for you to meet them," Edward said. "My mom and brother will love you instantly. My sister and father, on the other hand, will be a little cold at first. They are very protective and suspicious of outsiders. But once they'll give you a chance, they'll realize how amazing you are."_

_Bella listened with fascination. She loved when Edward would talk about his family. Bella only had her father. She wished she could've had a big family._

_Edward turned to face her. _

"_I'm going to tell them about you soon," Edward promised. "I'll take you to meet them."_

"_Oh, Edward!" Bella chocked. "Are you sure? We should wait until I graduate."_

_Edward pulled her to him and kissed her._

"_You are my life and hiding you from them for a whole year is too long already. I want them to know the person who makes me so happy. I know they'll worry and try to persuade me that this is wrong. You're young and -"_

"_poor," Bella added before he could finish his sentence._

_He looked at her with guilty eyes and nodded._

"_It shouldn't matter to them, but my family's wealth is their pride. They worked so hard to get to where they are and now they became snobs and elitists." Edward apologized, squeezing her in his arms._

"_But they'll love you once they'll meet you. And I'm sure my dad would be happy that there is a possibility of me getting caught with a student. He would be so grateful to you if I lost my job and could never teach again," he laughed. "He is so ashamed that I'm a professor instead of working for the family business."_

_Bella turned around and straddled her fiancé and smiled._

"_Mmm, you would be a gorgeous CEO, in a suit and tie," she teased, kissing the corner of his mouth. "But the disheveled literature professor is so much sexier." She said, her hand weaving through his tousled hair and kissing him._

_Edward flipped her down on the couch in one, swift move and kissed her back passionately. One of his hands moved up from her hips to her stomach, lifting her shirt at the same time, and found her breast. Bella whimpered and bit his lower lip. Her hands fumbled to take off his belt, yearning to feel all of him._

"_I want you now," she moaned as his lips replaced his hand, teasing her nipple expertly. _

"_I always want you, my love," he answered as he lifted up slightly to look at her with dark eyes._

…

_Bella was pacing at the bus station, her cellphone to her ear._

"_Answer… Come on, Edward, answer the damn phone!" she muttered to herself._

_The call went straight to voicemail._

"_Dammit!" she cried, shutting her phone off. _

_She looked around, trying to see his car but she couldn't find it. She had this nervous knot in her gut. She knew something was wrong._

_Bella had gone home to her dad's for winter break. It had been five weeks away from Edward. At first, Edward and Bella had sent each other plenty of texts and had called each other almost every night. But, all of a sudden, he had stopped answering and she hadn't heard back from him since. He wouldn't answer her texts and didn't return any of her calls._

_Bella hadn't panicked right away, assuming that he was busy with his family for the holiday. So she gave him some space. But he never called back. A month later, she still hadn't heard back from him. _

_She swung her bag over her shoulders and walked to his place from the bus station. Her body quivered with worry. She couldn't help but wonder: what if Edward had been hurt? Maybe he was in the hospital. Or worst… dead…_

_She shook her head, pushing the thought away, and ran the last stretch. Her heart pounded too fast and she felt faint with fear._

_All she could think was that if something bad had happened to him, nobody would know to contact her. Nobody knew that they were together, that they were engaged, that they loved each other. _

_When she got in front of his house, she paused. She was breathing heavily and her hands were shaking as she fumbled into her bag to find the keys. _

_Suddenly, she heard noise on the other side. __Edward opened the door and Bella sagged with relief. He was alive and safe._

"_Edward!" She exclaimed, leaping to embrace him. _

_His body was rigid and he gently pushed her back, avoiding her eyes. He checked the surrounding streets, worried of being seen on the doorstep with her. But he didn't invite her in._

_Bella stared silently, startled by his detached, aloof expression. She frowned, fear creeping in. _

_Bella immediately felt the changes in his behavior. There was this coldness between them and the distance intensified. _

_And then she realized that if he wasn't hurt, the only reason for him to stop all contact with her was because he didn't want to see her._

_Anger flared at his silence. For a month, she had been worried sick. And now, she was right in front of him, and he was still not saying anything._

"_At least have the guts to look me in the eyes," she snarled._

_He watched her, pity burning in his green orbs. His hand went up to his messy hair, his lips pressed in a guilty pout._

"_Bella," he implored, his voice just a whisper._

_She didn't respond. Her heart dropped at the sound of his voice. She knew then that he was breaking up with her. She glared at him, utterly dumbfounded. She felt her insides crumble._

"_I… I'm sorry, Bella. I wanted to wait until after the holiday to tell you. I met somebody."_

_She shook her head, not wanting to hear any of it out loud. _

_She couldn't understand how this was possible. They loved each other. They practically lived together. She had finally said yes to him after months of him begging her to marry him. She was wearing his ring. They had a future planned out._

_Despite her efforts to hide her pain, her eyes welled up and tears rolled down her cheeks. She brushed them off angrily._

"_I've been trying to talk to you for the past month! You should've told me, Edward," she cried. _

_At least he had the decency to look ashamed. He bowed his head low._

"_I know. You're right. I'm sorry."_

_Bella couldn't stand his empty apologies. She turned around and ran down the street, through the park, all the way to the forest. Her legs locked and Bella collapsed on the snowy ground. She stayed there, curled up, and cried._


	5. Chapter 5

_I divided this chapter in two parts because it was too long. Part 2 will be posted soon:)_

CHAPTER 5.1

Bella stared at herself in the mirror as she put her earrings on. She looked pale and tired. There were these ugly, dark circles under her eyes. She thought she looked way older than her twenty-five years.

"Bella, are you ready? Jasper is here!"

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

_I can do this. I'm not this naïve, little girl anymore. I'm a woman. A mother. I am strong. I can do this._

She opened her eyes, feeling determined to survive this evening, and grabbed her purse.

"I'm ready," she announced as she walked into the living room.

Alice and Jasper were standing in the hallway, waiting for her. They looked like a glamorous couple, dressed up nicely for the occasion. Jasper's parents were hosting a dinner to celebrate the engagement.

Their neighbor Jake was sitting on the couch with Tony, and they were already engrossed in some cartoon show, both laughing hysterically.

Bella smiled at the sound and went to kiss her son good-bye.

"Be nice with Jake! He's the adult and you have to listen to him, ok?" Bella said.

Tony nodded, his eyes glued to the television. Bella hugged Jake and thanked him once more for baby-sitting at the last minute.

"Hope you feel better, my little prince," Alice called out to Tony before they headed out.

On the way to the car, Bella tried to avoid Alice's questioning eyes in vain.

"Tony didn't seem sick," Alice noted. "Why did you decide he shouldn't come?" Alice was upset that Tony wasn't coming with them. She wanted her future in-laws to meet her family.

"He was warm and complained that his stomach was hurting. A few of my students had the stomach flu recently. I don't want to take a risk," Bella recited her excuse to perfection. She felt bad for lying to her friend but she knew that she couldn't bring Tony to Edward's childhood home. This was not how the truth would come out.

Jasper drove them to his parents' house, leaving the South End behind for the more prestigious Medina, twenty minutes away. Bella sat in the back seat, her mind reeling with the knowledge that she would be face to face with Edward really soon. Her whole body was trembling with apprehension.

Alice was chatty and didn't notice her friend's discomfort. She went over the whole Cullen family tree with Bella so that she would be prepared. When she mentioned Edward, Bella's stomach turned. Apparently, he was married to a certain Tanya.

Bella shut her friend's out. She couldn't listen anymore. But she knew the avoiding part was over. Tonight, she would have to face her past.

A sign informed them that they were entering a 24 Hour Video Surveillance Area and Jasper slowed down before finally entering a long, private driveway.

"We're here," Jasper announced as he parked behind a car Bella had known very well in her past. Her eyes fixated on the silver Volvo in the driveway, her breath getting caught in her throat.

Images from the past rushed forward. She could still remember Edward's nervous smile as he'd driven her to the bookstore in town. It had been her first ride in his car. She remembered how sweet it had felt to be alone and so close to him, to smile back at him shyly as they'd glanced discreetly at each other during the whole awkward ride to town.

Bella pushed back the tears that were threatening to escape. She got out of the car and stared at the mansion standing in front of them. It was huge and beautiful and extravagant.

"Come on, let's get inside. It's cold out here." Jasper suggested, holding Alice's hand firmly and smiling at Bella.

During the time she had been with Edward, she had imagined the day she would get to visit his childhood home and to meet his parents and siblings at last. She had longed to meet them. And now she was finally here and she wished she could be anywhere else but here.

The interior was even more luxurious than the outside. Modern paintings, probably originals, were hanging on the walls. Chandeliers dangled from the high ceilings.

It was beautiful.

Esme, Jasper's mom, came to greet them in the foyer. She was sophisticated and elegant. Her joy for the couple was obvious even though her demeanor stayed calm and measured.

Bella was surprised when Esme embraced her and welcomed her warmly. Bella felt uneasy. She suddenly felt guilty for hiding her grandson away.

Esme led the trio into the living room where the rest of the family was waiting.

Bella forced herself to move forward and follow, but her legs felt weak. Dread was making each step difficult.

The family cheered and greeted the happy couple with enthusiasm as they entered the room. Bella stood behind them, glimpsing at the people in front of her. It was hard to act normal knowing that they were her son's family and she was hiding secrets from all of them.

Everybody hugged the happy couple in turn, congratulating them on their engagement. Alice was so at ease around them and seemed to already be part of the family. Bella couldn't shake the twinge of jealousy.

This could've been her.

Bella nervously checked the room, aware that Edward should be somewhere close. She was fighting back the want to see him. She couldn't help but feel curious as well as terrified to see him again. Her eyes shifted to the back of the room and her gaze was met with intense, green eyes. Her breathing faltered. Her mind told her to run. Her heart reminded her of the pain. And yet, she couldn't look away from the only man she had ever loved. His eyes held her captive and they stared for what seemed a lifetime. His eyes bore deep and burned.

Alice pulled Bella closer to the others and Bella swiftly tore her eyes away from Edward.

"And this is Bella," she announced proudly to the family.

The Cullens greeted Bella and introduced themselves. Bella smiled and shook their hands but her brain was all jumbled up. She had a hard time paying attention to what was happening around her. She felt as if she was stuck under water, her vision was blurry and the sound muffled. She feared she would faint.

A tall, beautiful woman with strawberry blond hair approached Bella next.

"Hi, I'm Tanya," she said.

Bella's guts twisted and she wanted to curse her. She wanted to accuse her of being the whore that had stolen her happily-ever-after. But Edward had been the one to break her heart, not her.

The family was surrounding the newly engaged couple and Bella felt like an outsider. She stood a little apart and her eyes wandered the room to the big windows. It was dusk outside and she could still see the view of the lake nearby. It was breathtaking.

Bella didn't want to look to the other side of the room again but she couldn't resist. It was like magnet. Edward was standing there alone, isolating himself from the rest of the group. He hadn't said a word yet as he watched from afar. Bella thought he appeared withdrawn and tired. He downed the last drops of his drink and poured himself another glass before approaching the group. He glanced her way and Bella's body quivered. He lowered his eyes and turned to Jasper. Bella thought that his eyes were more somber than she remembered but they were still so captivating.

The twins who had been drinking a juice quietly suddenly started to chase each other around the room excitedly. Bella watched them and couldn't help the pang of bitterness that flared on the inside. This could've been Tony's life too, visiting his grandparents in this mansion, surrounded by family.

The little girl rushed to Edward and wrapped her arms around his legs.

"Uncle Eddie, help me! Jayden wants to catch me," she begged.

Edward chuckled at his niece and leaned forward to whisper something in her ear. A burning pain seared through Bella's chest at the too real, too familiar sound of his voice.

The little girl giggled and ran to hide under the table.

Bella hated having to witness this scene. The ache deep inside was too raw. She hated that Edward seemed so good with kids and yet he didn't want his own. She hated hearing his laugh when she was hurting.

Being near him was too painful. She couldn't do it. She couldn't spend a whole evening with the man that had crushed her heart and asked her to kill her baby.

Bella discreetly separated herself from the others. She needed a minute alone. She was suffocating over here.

She walked toward the fireplace, turning her back to everybody. She stared at the flames that flickered and danced. She snickered inwardly at how she felt a similar hell charring her guts and licking her wounds.

Steps approached and she froze, apprehension overwhelming her. She couldn't face him. She couldn't do this here, now. She wasn't strong enough.

Edward stopped next to her and she felt his eyes on her.

"Bella," he breathed her name heavily.

She shivered, her heart rate peeking. She had never thought she would hear this voice whispering her name ever again. She refused to look up, her eyes trained on the fire.

"How are you?" He asked softly, so many underlying questions behind this generic one.

Her body clenched. She gritted her teeth and her fists tightened up. She embraced the anger. It felt so much better than sadness. She raised her gaze to his and glared at him.

"Don't!" she muttered angrily in between her clenched teeth. "Don't come and talk to me as if nothing happened. I despise you for everything you've done to me. I don't want you near me, ever again."

Edward flinched as if slapped, shock darkening his eyes. He pressed his lips together and nodded solemnly. He walked away then and left her alone.

She was shaking and closed her eyes. She could feel the tears threatening to escape once more. She wondered how many times a shattered heart could break. Would there be no end to the pain?

"Dinner is ready. If you would please come to the dining room and sit down," Esme announced.

The family shuffled to the dinning area, where a beautifully set mahogany table stood.

Bella took deep breaths and tried to calm down before joining them. Hate boiled through her veins. Alice searched for Bella and smiled when she saw her walking behind everybody, completely oblivious of what Bella was feeling. She waited for her friend to come.

"So, what do you think so far?"

"They seem really nice, Alice. And I can see they already care so much about you." Bella whispered with all the approval she could muster.

Alice hugged her friend, feeling so happy. Bella swallowed her tears before Alice could notice anything.

"Oh, isn't this amazing? I can't believe this is my life now! Jasper is perfect and his family is amazing."

Bella hugged her friend back. "I'm so happy for you," she told Alice, hiding the pang in her chest.

...

_Thank you so so much for all the love I am getting from you guys! yay! It's wonderful and so much fun to read your comments and your hypotheses! sorry for not answering to reviews but I read all of them and some of your guesses are pretty good ;) xo_


	6. Chapter 6

_And here's the 2nd part of chapter 5..._

CHAPTER 5.2

Bella sat at the large dining table next to Alice, with Emmett, Rosalie's husband, on the other side of her. One of the twins was on his lap and Bella was grateful for the distraction. She watched the little boy so that her eyes didn't wander to dangerous zones.

Tanya was sitting across from her and Bella couldn't help but examine her from the corner of her eyes. She could see all of her perfections. Bella started to silently list everything that Tanya had that she didn't. She was tall. She was blond. She was the same age as Edward. She was well spoken. She wore red lipsticks. She knew about fashion. She was rich. His parents treated her like family.

Emmett complemented Esme on the meal and Bella realized that she wasn't even tasting the food she was swallowing. Her mind was miles away.

Bella tried to refocus on the conversation. They were talking about the upcoming wedding. Esme and Alice were very enthusiastic, talking about color themes and centerpieces.

Bella's thoughts drifted once again, her mind reeling with billion of thoughts. She remembered the time when Edward had told warned her that his mom would want to take over their wedding plans to make it a bigger-than-life event. Bella had made him promise that their wedding would be small and simple. He had kissed her softly and had promised he would make sure it would be exactly the way she wanted it to be. He'd looked her in the eyes and had vowed that it would be perfect.

Bella glanced with sorrow across the table at Edward and still, after all these evidences, she couldn't understand how everything had turned so bad. Their gaze momentarily locked and she quickly lowered her eyes.

Edward wasn't participating in the dinner discussion and sat silently, barely eating and taking long sips from his glass instead.

"And Tony is going to be the ring bearer, right?" Carlisle, Jasper's father, asked with a gentle smile.

The mention of Tony's name got Bella's attention, her heart skipping a beat.

"Yes, he's already practicing!" Alice exclaimed with glee. "He is so excited."

"How I wish he could've come today," Esme sighed. "Alice has been talking about her little prince since the first time I've met her" She added, looking at Bella.

Bella swallowed the lump stuck in her throat, purposefully not looking toward Edward. She had been pretty successful of keeping her emotions at bay until now, but suddenly, she felt her anxiety take over. Everybody was looking at her, except Edward who kept his eyes downcast.

"Uhm, yeah, it's too bad," she stammered nervously. "He really wanted to come tonight but, uhm, he's not feeling well. I… I didn't want to take a risk, especially with the twins." Bella lied with a strained smile, feeling utterly stupid for sounding so inarticulate.

"I'm grateful," Rosalie answered. "When these two get sick, it's a nightmare! They keep on passing the germs back and forth."

"Do you have any pictures of Tony," Esme asked with such genuine interest.

Bella's heart squeezed. How could she show them pictures of her son when Edward was here with his wife, and the whole Cullen family completely clueless?

"Oh! I have some," Alice announced, reaching for her purse. She took out her phone and searched for the photos.

Bella wanted to stop Alice but she couldn't do it fast enough. Alice passed the phone to Esme, sitting right next to Jasper.

"Oh my! He is beautiful Bella," Esme praised, "What an angel!"

Esme sounded so caring. Bella couldn't restrain the flow of emotions taking over her. She didn't understand why she felt so guilty toward Esme. How she wished that Esme could've been there for Tony all these years.

Bella had no parents. Her only family, her father, had passed away a few years back. Bella had always wanted for her son to have a big family, and grandparents who loved him.

"Thank you, Esme," Bella said, smiling tenderly at her.

Esme passed the phone to Carlisle, who smiled widely at the picture.

"What a handsome little man! He seems so alert and so happy," he said, smiling at Bella tenderly and passing the phone to Edward, who was sitting next to him.

Bella stopped breathing, her eyes watching him anxiously. He stared at the picture for an agonizingly long minute, an impassive expression on his face.

Bella wanted Edward to look at her, to give some kind of sign that he acknowledged that Tony was his son. They had created a life together, and she wanted to share this with him.

Edward didn't say a word while he passed the phone to his wife. Tanya made some loud, fawning sound that sounded fake. But Bella continued to watch Edward from the corner of her eyes. She noticed the tensed muscles on his neck and shoulders. He chugged his drink in one quick gulp and abruptly rose. He swiftly left the room.

An excruciating, boulder-sized knot coiled in Bella's gut.

Tanya passed the phone to Rosalie without another word, glancing toward the door where her husband had disappeared. She frowned and looked back at Bella with a weird expression.

"Bella, Alice, I apologize for my son's rudeness," Esme expressed. "He's going through a difficult time at this moment."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Mom, please stop defending him. He's been acting like this for years. He is rude and selfish and bad-tempered, and it's not because he's going through a difficult time. That's just the way he is."

Tanya gasped and stared at her sister-in-law.

"Rose, baby," Emmett chastised.

Rosalie looked at her husband and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, looking at Alice and Bella before turning to her mom.

Esme gave her a small, forgiving smile before getting up.

"Who wants tea with dessert?" she asked, effectively breaking the awkwardness.

Carlisle and Jasper started collecting the dirty plates from the table to bring them into the kitchen. When Alice and Bella offered to help, everybody declined. They found themselves alone at the table and Alice leaned closer to Bella.

"Jasper told me that Edward is kinda the black sheep of the family. Apparently, he started drinking a little too much a few years back," Alice whispered.

Bella frowned at this information. "He's an alcoholic?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't think it's to that extent but he sometimes drink too much and makes scenes."

Alice and Bella promptly stopped the gossiping when Rosalie and Emmett came back to join them, announcing that the kids were finally sleeping. Alice asked Rosalie about her wedding to Emmett when Bella's phone started to ring.

"Sorry. It's the babysitter," she explained before answering. "Hey, Jake, how's everything?"

Bella got up and walked away from the dining room table to talk to Jake. She went back to the living room, near the large windows as she listened to Jake assure her that everything was fine and that Tony didn't seem sick.

"He just wanted to say good-night before going to bed," Jake said and passed the phone to her son.

"Mommy!"

"Hi honey! Are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah. I brushed my teeth and Jake read me a story."

"That's nice. Good night my angel. I love you." Bella said.

"Good night mommy. Love you too."

Bella smiled, feeling all warm and fuzzy, and hung up.

She headed toward the hallway to use the bathroom before going back to the dining room. She stopped abruptly when she witnessed Edward and his wife talking in hushed voices in the foyer. They were arguing and Tanya seemed very confrontational.

"Who is this woman? Answer me, Edward!" She insisted. Tanya's fury was obvious even from afar. Bella could only see Tanya's back but she noticed the stiffness of her body and the anger that emanated from it.

"Tanya, We. Are. Not. Together. Remember?" Edward enunciated with annoyance. "I don't have to tell you anything."

Bella gasped. Inwardly, an incomprehensible sense of relief came over her at these words. Edward tore his eyes from his wife and caught Bella's. Her heart skipped a beat and she wanted to run away but then she heard Tanya's next question. It paralyzed her.

"Is he your son?"

Edward's whole expression changed. He looked utterly distraught. He glanced at his wife but quickly looked back at Bella, his gaze full of unspoken questions. His eyes searched into hers with a kind of desperation.

Bella gulped, staring back at him. Bella's heart was racing so fast. All she could think about was that the truth was finally coming out. She could see that Edward was trying to process everything in his head, confused and lost.

"Well, is he?" Tanya pressed.

He nodded and brought his gaze back to his wife.

"Yes, Tanya. I believe he's my son," he answered, his voice full of emotions.

Bella's eyes welled up all of a sudden and she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She wiped them off quickly and rushed to the bathroom. As she walked away, she heard the echo of Tanya's slap.

Bella was shaking. She washed her face with cold water.

Edward knew now that she had kept the baby.

She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

She wondered about what he had said earlier. About them not being together. Somehow it made her happy but she shook the thought away quickly. She reminded herself that it didn't matter. He had broken her heart. He had used her and deceived her, and she would never be able to forget that.

She took one last deep breath and opened the door. Edward was there, waiting for her. His hand was tugging at his disheveled hair. He looked miserable.

He gaze up at her when she came out and they stared at each other.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked, seemingly troubled.

Bella pressed her lips tightly and glared furiously.

"Because you didn't want him," she spat.

His face fell and he furrowed his eyebrows.

There was a growing pinch gnawing in the pit of her stomach.

"I didn't know," he breathed with shame.

He shook his head, his expression of someone in agony. Bella froze, perplexed. They stared at each other in utter disbelief.

Somewhere in the background, Esme announced that dessert was being served.

Bella and Edward didn't break their eye contact.

"Bella, can we -," Edward started but Bella cut him off quickly.

"We should get back. They are probably wondering where we are," she declared, tearing her eyes away from his. Her thoughts were all jumbled up and she felt lost.

"Please, Bella," he begged. "Could we talk?"

She shook her head, confused, and turned away from him. She didn't know if she could trust him. He had deceived her before. She was afraid of being hurt again.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," He said in a broken voice.

Bella's insides twisted. It was as if her old wounds reopened and bled anew. It hurt horribly.

Bella left him there without a glance back and went back to join the others with a heavy, troubled heart.

Edward and Tanya never came back for dessert and Bella didn't see them again that night.

...

_so? what do you think? _


	7. Chapter 7

_6 years ago..._

CHAPTER 6

_Bella was meticulously_ _rewriting study flash cards for her psychology class when her roommate, Jessica, walked into their room._

_Jessica worried that Bella didn't talk much anymore. She was always working so hard and never smiled anymore._

"_Hey Bella," her roommate greeted as she sat on her bed. "Lauren, Mike, Ben and a few others are going out tonight to celebrate the end of the semester. It would be great if you could come."_

_Bella raised her eyes from her book and looked at her roommate dully._

"_Thanks, but I want to study for my finals," Bella answered in a flat tone before going back to writing._

_After Edward left her, Bella really tried to move on. She put all of her effort into forgetting him. She didn't want to be that pathetic girl who would give up on life after an ugly breakup. She reminded herself that she was still so young, and Edward had been her first love but he didn't need to be her last._

_For now, Bella immersed herself in schoolwork and focused entirely on her upcoming finals. As long as her mind was busy, she didn't feel the empty hole in her chest. She never let her thoughts wander too far. She didn't give herself time to brood over that perfect future that had been snatched away from her._

"_Bella, you've been studying like crazy. And anyway, we have a whole week to study before the finals. Come out, just for one drink," Jessica pled._

_Bella didn't have energy to argue and she rationalized that partying and drinking would be a good distraction since the nights were more difficult to bear. During the day, Bella studied and read and wrote papers and attended her classes. But at night, she had nothing to distract her mind. She could feel the hollow in her heart, and she dreamt about what she had lost._

"_Sure. I'll come," Bella agreed._

"_And maybe you'll find a cute guy at the bar to make you smile. Whoever broke your heart is not worth it!" Jessica added with a smile. "There are plenty of fish in the pond," Jessica reassured her._

_Bella wasn't ready to date right now, but she knew that, one day, she would be able to love once again, and that gave her hope._

_Jessica searched for an outfit for tonight. Bella didn't care what she wore. She grabbed her skinny jeans and one of her t-shirt, which happened to be her Nirvana shirt. She put her converse on and turned to Jessica, who was applying some make-up on. _

"_Ok, I'm ready."_

_Jessica looked over to her roommate and frowned. She wanted to tell Bella that she should wear something more flattering and that she should at least put some make-up on because she looked so pale, but she abstained, knowing that Bella was already not doing so well._

"_Great. Let's go and get the others," Lauren exclaimed, grabbing her clutch and exiting their room._

_The whole gang went to one of the nicer clubs in the city. They wanted to avoid the freshmen._

_Bella went straight to the bar and ordered a tequila sunrise. She wasn't twenty-one yet but most bars and clubs near the campus didn't care. They made most of their money from the college students._

_Lauren and Jessica joined her, chatting animatedly. _

"_Oh my god, I can't believe he's here. I can finally make a move. I've been waiting three years for this opportunity," Lauren said._

_Bella chugged her drink, listening to the girls, not caring that she had no idea what they were talking about._

_When the bartender served Jessica and Lauren, Bella ordered another drink. She was already done with the first one._

"_Oh my, he's coming to the bar right now," Lauren squealed, hitting Jessica's arm for her to look. Bella followed their gaze and froze, her broken heart constricting at the sight. Edward and two more men were walking toward the bar. They were all dressed up nicely. Edward simply looked strikingly dapper. The three men were immersed in a conversation as they reached the bar and they didn't notice the girls gawking. Bella felt devastated. Seeing him doing so well made her feel even worse. How could he just continue his life as if nothing had happened? How could he look so unaffected? It wasn't fair._

_Lauren called over to him.  
><em>

"_Professor Cullen! What a nice surprise to see you here."_

_Edward seemed irritated by her interruption. He sighed and looked at her, a fake smile on his face._

"_Ms. Mallory, good evening," he said politely._

_He was about to turn away when he spotted Bella. His phony smile morphed into a grimace. He froze and his eyes lingered on her for too long, seemingly searching for something. Bella's heart peeked and she held on to the edge of the bar with all her might. Having his eyes on her felt so wonderful. She missed him so much._

"_Ms. Swan," he gritted out, and then returned to his friends._

_Bella's eyes watered immediately. She span around and hurried to the bathroom, locking herself in a stool, and cried._

_When she came back out, she found her group of friends. They were doing shots and she joined in, wanting to feel numb. _

_She knew she was drinking too much and she felt dizzy. Standing was becoming difficult but when she sat down, everything started to spin. _

_She glanced to the back of the lounge where Edward and ten other men were celebrating. From across the room, his eyes met with hers and her stomach flipped upside down. She grabbed her bag and announced that she needed some air. She rushed outside and exhaled loudly._

"_Bella," his velvety voice reached her from behind and goosebumps erupted all over her skin._

_She didn't turn to look. She wasn't sure if she was imagining the voice._

_Edward appeared at her side and looked at her with so much emotion, it chocked her. She stared back, feeling bedazzled by his presence. Bella realized that under his fancy clothes and fakes smiles, he looked as miserable as she did._

"_I'm drunk and I shouldn't do this," he muttered, more to himself than to her, "but I miss you so much, Bella. I can't breathe without you."_

_Bella's whole body trembled, thrilled and relieved by his words. Her dreams were becoming true._

_Edward smiled at her full of adoration. "I love you, Bella," he whispered, bringing one of his hands to her cheek, watching her intensely._

_Bella's whole body lit up at the touch and a tear escaped._

_He leaned forward slowly, his eyes glued to her the whole time, making sure she consented. When he was so close that everything was blurry, Bella's eyes fluttered shut and she closed the gap, bringing her lips to his. _

_Their kiss was tender. A sweet reunion. She could taste his repentance and regrets. She felt his love for her. _

"_Please come home with me tonight," Edward asked, his lips still on hers._

_Bella nodded, sighing with such relief and joy, and kissed him with more passion. _

_They took a cab home. During the whole ride, their hands roamed and caressed, ensuring that they were really here, together. As soon as they reached their destination, things heated up. _

_Once inside, Edward swiftly pinned her against the door and kissed her forcefully. Their lips moved frantically, licking and nipping with desperation. She clutched his hair, arching her body against him, needing to feel all of him. He grabbed her ass and squeezed it, eliciting a moan from her. They tumbled across the living room, kissing, limbs intertwined, grabbing at each other with so much yearning, and entered the bedroom, still flushed together. They were pulling at each other's clothes and kissing every bare skin available. Edward succeeded in taking her t-shirt off while keeping his lips on her as much as possible. The back of Bella's legs hit the edge of the bed and she fell back, pulling Edward with her. She shrieked when he fell on top of her, and they both laughed hysterically._

_Their laughter slowly died and the frenzy disappeared, leaving behind intense electricity that hummed through the silence. They stared at each other, breathless and longing. Edward's hooded gaze shone brightly as his eyes dug into hers. The burning current sparkled between them._

_He brushed her hair softly from her face, looking down at her with so much love. Bella smiled at the sight and brought her hands to his chest. She could feel his heart pounding fast and she bit her lips. She saw desire flare in his eyes. He leaned down and his kiss felt like veneration. It was deep and thorough and so sensual. Slowly, he peeled himself off of her and stood. His hungry gaze never left her. He took off what was left of his clothes and then pulled her jeans off. Bella lay on the bed, heaving and yearning, while she watched him undress her with lust._

_He joined her back in bed, and hovered over her while he admired her. He took his time worshipping her with his hands and his mouth. Every single stretch of skin was being revered. Bella returned the favor, tasting and savoring every inch of him, reacquainting herself with the man she loved. And Bella couldn't deny that what they were doing tonight was the pure definition of making love. There was no doubt that in his every touch, every stroke, every whisper, he loved her. _

_Bella fell asleep with a lightness in her heart. His body was warm against hers and his arms wrapped around her protectively. She felt at peace._

_Unknown voices startled Bella awake, confused about where she was. Her head was spinning and she felt nauseous from all the drinking the night before. She looked down at the arm wrapped around her and Bella smiled. Edward was here with her. He was sleeping and his hold on her was firm and comforting. _

_Bella heard the voices again. They were coming from the living room and they seemed to be getting closer. All of a sudden, the door opened and a young man, dressed in a suit, busted into the bedroom. Bella panicked and grabbed the blanket to cover herself completely._

"_Rise and shine, Eddie!" The man sang, turning the light on. "It's time to-" _

_He didn't finish the sentence, his eyes finding Bella's horrified ones. The young man's grin dropped as he gawked, taken by surprise._

_Edward woke up and Bella could feel his body flinch and his muscles immediately tensing next to her. He abruptly sat up and glared at the man. _

"_Son, is Edward awake?" Another manly voice came from the living room._

"_Get out and keep dad away from here," Edward grunted._

_The man immediately left and shut the door behind him. _

_Bella rolled over to face Edward. He looked like a mess, both of his hands tugging hard at his hair. _

"_Shit. Shit. Shit," he grunted to himself._

"_What's going on, Edward?" Bella asked nervously._

_He swiftly got out of bed and pulled his pants on. When he finally looked at her, his green eyes were shadowed with darkness. He broke the eye contact too fast. He turned around and walked to his closet. _

_Bella stared with heavy heart. She feared what he was going to say but needed to understand what was happening. _

_"I'm sorry, Bella. Last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened," Edward stated in a flat voice, his back to her._

_Searing pain exploded inside Bella's chest. She sat in his bed, her eyes glued to his back, feeling like everything around her was spinning. Tears gushed out and she didn't try to hide them._

"_Edward," she whimpered, needing him to look at her._

_He didn't respond. He grabbed a suit protected with plastic wrap and left the room without another word nor a glance toward her._

_Bella's chest constricted and she couldn't breathe. She started heaving, her tears choking her. _

_The door re-opened and she watched the man from earlier enter. He quickly closed the door behind him and looked at her with gentle eyes._

"_Hi, I'm Edward's brother, Jasper," he explained in a soft voice. He talked to her as if she was a wounded animal._

"_Where's Edward?" she barked, her voice throaty from the crying._

"_He's in the shower. He's getting ready," Jasper answered, seemingly uncomfortable._

"_I need to talk to him," Bella suddenly said, getting up._

_Jasper quickly turned around to not gawk at her naked body. Bella searched for her clothes and put her shirt on._

"_I'm sorry but you can't leave the room right now," Jasper stated, his back to her. "Our father is in the living room and the bride's father is with us as well."_

_Bella was in the middle of pulling her jeans on when she froze, disconcerted._

"_What bride? What are you talking about?"_

"_Edward's bride. He's getting married today."_

_Bella fell to the ground, disoriented. She felt numb. The pain was so raw that her body shut down. _

_Jasper rushed to her side._

"_Are you okay?"_

_She looked at him and frowned._

"_He's getting married." She muttered in a daze._

"_I guess he forgot to tell you this when he met you last night," Jasper grumbled._

_Bella continued to stare at Jasper, utterly stunned. She didn't understand anything. Jasper's phone buzzed and he glanced at it._

"_They just left. I'll let you get dressed now and I can drive you wherever you want, okay?"_

_Bella nodded dully, her heart shattering all over again._

_..._

so I know, so many questions still unanswered lol. Any new theories?

Millions of thanks to all of you who are reading my story! I feel so grateful for your support!


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 7

Bella knocked on her neighbor's door and waited with a nervous stomach. When Jake answered the door, he was surprised to see her there. She hadn't come over to visit him since their conversation last year. That had been the day he had told her that he wanted more. That he loved her. Bella had apologized and cried, and had told him that she really wished she could. She had confessed that she liked he's company and enjoyed being with him in that way, but that she could never love him the way he deserved. Her heart had been broken, destroyed, and she couldn't love another man again.

"Hey, Bells."

She bit her lips uneasily, wondering if this was a mistake.

"Do you wanna come in?" Jake offered politely, noticing that Bella was conflicted about something.

Bella nodded and they both got in and went into the living room. Jake sat down, looking at Bella with uncertainty. Bella, agitated, started pacing in front of him.

"Bells, what's going on? You're worrying me."

She paused and turned to face him. When she finally opened her mouth to talk, she started to cry instead. She covered her face with her hands and mumbled apologies about her outburst. Jake quickly got up and wrapped her in his arms.

"Shhh, Bells, it's okay," he consoled her softly. "Tell me what's wrong."

She shook her head and sniffed. It felt good to be in his arms.

"Jake, I… I don't know what to do," she sobbed. "I just don't know what's right anymore."

Jake pulled Bella down so they both sat on the couch. He gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Is it about Alice getting married?"

Bella looked up at her friend while she thought. She shook her head and then nodded, confusing Jake even more.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Are you worried about what will happen to you and Tony once she gets married?"

She shook her head. "No. It's not that. I know that's what everybody thinks it's about but that's not it."

Jake examined her, his brow furrowed.

"So… what is it about?"

Bella inhaled deeply and blurted it out.

"It's about Tony's dad."

"Wait, I thought it was about Alice getting married, and now you say it's about Tony's dad. I'm confused."

Bella looked away. "It's about both. They're related."

Jake's brain reeled overtime trying to put two and two together. He suddenly gasped, his eyes wide.

"Jasper is Tony's dad?"

Bella shook her head again, her hands covering her face.

"But he's related to Tony's dad," he continued to guess.

Bella slowly nodded yes and peeked over at Jake, waiting for him to realize the implication of this fact.

"Oh. Wow," He said in stupor. "What does Alice say about it?"

She shrugged. "I haven't told her," she replied, fresh tears falling down.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry." Jake said as he hugged her again.

"I saw him the other day. I even met his wife," she mumbled. "He… he says he wants to talk."

She pulled away from him and wiped her tears.

"I don't know what to do. I heard him tell his wife that they were not together anymore. And he told me that he didn't know about Tony."

"Do you believe him?"

Bella snickered and shook her head.

"No. I don't know. He's lied to me so many times, I can't tell what's true and what's not. I don't trust him," she cried. "And yet, I have doubts, so many doubts. There are so many things that don't add up." She brushed her tears away and looked at her friend. "What should I do, Jake?"

"First, you should talk to Alice. She's really worried about you. You've been withdrawn recently and she feels guilty. She blames herself for making you feel sad." He advised. "Tell Alice the truth. And then… I don't know… You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to."

"I'm afraid for Tony," she whispered. "I want to do the right thing for him. I want him to have a dad but I don't want him to get hurt. What if he hurts him the way he hurt me?"

Jake pulled her back into him and hugged her. He kissed her forehead and held her tightly. Bella let herself be consoled, her head against his chest, and she inhaled deeply, finding comfort in his scent. It felt good to finally tell somebody the truth.

She pulled back after a while and looked at Jacob with an embarrassed smile.

"I'm sorry for coming to you like this. It's not fair to you," she whispered awkwardly.

Jake smiled back. "I'm happy you trust me. I wanna be here for you."

"I wish I had met you before all of this." Bella confessed with a wistful expression.

He looked at her with sad, understanding eyes.

" Me too, Bells."

…

When Bella returned home, she found Alice, Jasper and Tony eating cupcakes in the living room and playing Uno.

"Mommy! We made cupcakes. I made one special for you!"

Bella smiled at her son's excitement and joined them. Her cupcake had a big pink heart on top of it.

"Awww, it's beautiful honey. Thank you!" She told him, kissing him.

"We were thinking of going up to the mountain for the weekend. Jasper's family has a vacation house there. We want you and Tony to come too." Alice announced. "It would be nice to get away for a little while."

Bella's stomach knotted. Memories of her time there with Edward instantly reemerged. Their thanksgiving trip there had been only two months before their breakup. She had still been naively happy then.

"Oh, if you can't or don't want to come that's okay," Alice quickly added with a hidden tone of disappointment.

Tony bounced up and down. "Please, please, please. I wanna go."

"When are you going?" Bella asked, trying to shake away the tormenting memories.

"We were thinking of living tomorrow morning if that works with you," Jasper answered. "We would really like for you to come, Bella."

"Can we go, mommy. Please!" Tony begged.

"Sure. That sounds nice," Bella agreed in a monotonous voice.

She quickly got up and brought her plate into the kitchen to hide, knowing that her distress was visible to all. She was upset that she still felt so shaken about her past. She wished she didn't hurt anymore and that she could simply enjoy going away for the weekend with her son, her best friend and her fiancé. She hated that she was completely broken because of Edward.

She started washing her plate in the sink, wondering how to finally tell Alice the truth. Bella knew that Jake was right and that she needed to tell Alice about Edward.

"Hey, Bella, what's going on?" Alice asked, joining her in the kitchen.

"Nothing," she answered automatically, immediately feeling guilty for lying.

Alice exhaled loudly and leaned against the counter next to Bella.

"Are you mad at me? Are you angry that I'm getting married and that I'm leaving you?"

Bella stopped doing the dishes and spun around to face her best friend.

"No, Alice! I'm so happy for you! I really am!" Bella exclaimed.

"But you don't like Jasper? Or where he comes from?" She accused. "I noticed your disapproval at his family's place. Is it because they're so rich?"

Bella's heart pounded painfully. She shook her head vehemently. "I like Jasper. I promise Alice. I'm happy for the two of you," she swore. "It's just that, recently, since your engagement… the past has been… closer."

"What do you mean?" Alice asked kindly, her voice softer than earlier. "Did something happen? Is that why you're sad all the time now?"

Bella looked at her friend and took a deep breath, resolved to confess everything.

"Mommy! Uncle Jasper said they have a Jacuzzi over there!" Tony interrupted, running toward them. "I can't wait to go!"

Bella smiled at her son and then looked back at Alice.

"I want to tell you everything, Alice. Let's talk after the weekend. When it's just the two of us, ok?"

"Yes, of course," Alice said, hugging Bella. "Whenever you're ready. I love you."

"I love you too," Bella replied, hugging her back.

…

The ride seemed longer than the last time she had gone there. Tony didn't stop asking if they were there yet and whined a lot.

As they went up the windy roads, Tony complained of a stomach ach and suddenly threw up all over himself and his mom.

"Here, I have napkins," Alice offered Bella

"We're almost here," Jasper promised. "I can do a laundry as soon as we get there."

"Thank you, Jasper. I'm so sorry about your car," Bella apologized, trying to wipe most of the vomit with napkins.

Soon after, Jasper parked his car in the driveway and they all scrambled out of the car.

"Weird, Edward's car is here," Jasper muttered, surprised.

Bella's heart jumped and her whole body cringed as she stared at the shiny Volvo parked next to them. Panic was taking over her. She felt trapped, with no way to escape. She held Tony's hand tightly, trying to find a way to avoid the unavoidable.

"Did he mention that he was coming up here this weekend?" Alice asked.

Jasper shook his head, as he opened the trunk and took the bags out.

"No, he hasn't said anything. Let's go in and see what's going on."

Jasper led them to the front door and searched for his keys. Bella was taking short, empty breaths and felt faint. She looked down at her son and made a silent wish that Tony would not get hurt.

"Welcome!" Jasper exclaimed as he swung the door open and invited them inside the house.

…

_uh oh! Sorry for ending this chapter on a cliffhanger ;) I promise next chapter will be about their weekend in the mountains._

_Still loving and enjoying all of your reviews! THANK YOU! XOXO_


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 8

Edward was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, when Jasper entered the living room. Classical music was blasting from the stereo and Edward, lost in his own world, didn't hear them enter. He was typing furiously on his laptop, and murmuring words out loud while his fingers recorded his thoughts on the computer.

Alice came in behind her fiancé. She noticed the mess around Edward: empty bottle of wine, dirty glass, dirty plates with half eaten food, notebooks and piles of scrambled sheets of papers. It looked like he had spent days locked up here.

"Edward!" Jasper called out, effectively getting his brother's attention.

Edward's head snapped up and he turned around completely startled. His scruffy, unshaved face stared back at Jasper with utter surprise.

"Jasper? Uhm, hi," he said with bewilderment. He jumped up and hurried to the stereo to lower the music.

Edward was wearing sweatpants and a white t-shirt and looked like he hadn't slept in a few days.

"Wow! What a surprise! I didn't expect anybody to come up," Edward rambled, his fingers weaving through his unkept hair.

He noticed Alice behind Jasper and smiled.

"Hi Alice, it's nice to see you again."

"Hi, Edward," she smiled back.

Suddenly two more bodies appeared behind Alice, and Edward gawked, speechless. In an instant, his heart was in his throat. His eyes were transfixed.

"What are you doing up here, Eddie? Is Tanya here too?" Jasper asked.

Edward didn't answer. He stared behind Jasper, behind Alice, where Bella stood. She was holding a little boy's hand. Edward's chest constricted at the sight of them and it almost knocked him down to his knees. The little boy looked up and Edward gasped at the brilliant emerald orbs looking straight at him. Something deep inside of him stirred and it hurt.

_This is my son. This is the beautiful, perfect being that Bella and I created together._

"Who are you?" Tony asked curiously.

Edward's heart squeezed, his eyes tingling with unshed tears. It hurt Edward that his son didn't know about him. Bella pulled Tony closer to her and the boy gazed up to his mom, effectively breaking his eye contact with Edward.

"This is your uncle Ed-"

"Alice!" Bella snapped sternly, cutting her friend off. Alice gasped at her rudeness and stared at her in utter shock. Bella's heart was racing and she felt her blood boil with anguish.

"Where's the bathroom? We need to wash up. We're full of vomit," Bella asked, her voice pressing.

Bella glanced toward Edward and they exchanged a quick look. Bella almost wished she could growl at him. Edward quailed at the icy glare. He understood right away that she was extremely protective of her son and didn't want him near. Edward stepped back and lowered his gaze.

"Oh, of course, Bella. Follow me," Jasper answered, promptly leading Bella and Tony away from the living room, into the hallway to the bathroom.

Bella locked the door behind her and exhaled, feeling her heart hammering deplorably against her ribcage.

"Mommy, who was that?"

Bella took off her son's shirt and turned the shower on.

"Jasper's brother." She finally answers.

"Is he my uncle too?" Tony asked and Bella's heart leapt.

"No." She answered curtly.

"Take your pants off and go in the shower. I'll be right back," she told him next, and left the bathroom to fetch clean clothes.

She walked back toward the living room and heard Jasper and Edward talking. She stilled and eavesdropped.

"Why are you living here? For how long? What about Tanya?" Jasper asked in shock.

"It's been a while, Jasper. Tanya and I are separated."

"I can't believe it. Why haven't you told me about it?"

"It's complicated. I didn't want to bring you into this mess. And dad,"

"Dad? What does dad have to do with this?"

"Dad is ordering me to stay with her." Edward mumbled in a low voice that Bella barely heard. "He's the one who insisted that I marry her in the first place."

"You're talking no sense, Edward. How much wine have you had?"

There was a long silence and Bella worried that they would hear her heart pounding loudly against her ribcage. She felt a headache creeping in at the millions of thoughts reeling through her mind.

"Why would I make this up, Jasper? Honestly, do I look happy?"

Another silence stretched and Bella felt overwhelmed with what she'd just heard. All she knew was that it didn't change the way he had treated her. He still did wrong with her. But somehow, knowing that his dad made him marry Tanya made everything a little less painful.

"Well, I'll let you guys enjoy the weekend. I have to be back in the city anyway," Edward finally said in a defeated voice.

"Oh, Edward, don't be so dramatic. Don't leave. We can all be here at the same time. The place is big enough." Jasper answered in a calmer tone. "And maybe we can talk more about all this."

"I can't be here right now. But yes, let's talk soon. I would like that."

"You shouldn't drive now," Jasper advised in concern. "At least wait until you sober up."

Bella could hear steps going up to the second floor. She knew there was still somebody in the living room. She could hear noises. She needed to go in to get her bag. When she entered the living room, Edward was cleaning up the room.

He looked up and saw Bella. He quickly straightened up and smiled.

"Hey," he said to her, his voice was a little hoarse with emotion.

"Hey," she answered back, keeping her expression impassive.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys were coming up." Edward said in a soft voice. "I won't intrude. I'm leaving tonight."

Edward could still hear Bella's voice from last month at his parents' house.

"_I don't want you near me, ever again. I despise you for everything you've done to me."_

"Jasper doesn't want me to drive right now because I drank a little," he explained next, a little bashful about his admission. "I'm gonna take a nap and leave as soon as I wake up. I promise."

Bella's inside twisted at his use of the word promise. He had promised so many things to her in the past and none had become true. She couldn't trust him anymore.

She nodded and crossed her arms. "That would be for the best. I can't allow you near my son."

He swallowed hard and looked straight in her eyes. She noticed the hurt in his eyes but she refused to feel guilty. He was the bad one, not her.

"Ok. I understand. I'll be gone soon."

She turned away to fetch her bag but her step faltered when she heard Edward's broken whisper.

"He's beautiful, Bella."

Everything on the inside was throbbing and she hated these wrenching feelings. She swallowed her tears, not wanting to cry in front of Edward, and walked away.

When she made it back to the bathroom, her son was singing and playing in the water. Her heart squeezed.

_He is beautiful,_ she thought with love.

She kissed her son and then they both washed up and put new clothes on.

When they joined Alice and Jasper, Edward was nowhere to be seen anymore. The four of them settled and decided to play a board game together.

"Where's your brother, uncle Jasper?" Tony asked.

"He's sleeping. He was up all night writing a book. So he's really tired."

"Will I meet him later?"

"Not tonight. He said he had to go back to the city once he wakes up. But you'll meet him soon for sure. He's going to be my best man at the wedding."

"Cool!" Tony said and then rolled the dice.

The four of them hung out all day and enjoyed dinner without any interruption from Edward.

After Bella put Tony to bed, she walked into the living room to find Alice and Jasper snuggling and having a moment. She left the happy couple alone and headed to the kitchen to get some more wine. She startled when she noticed Edward standing at the counter, spreading some mayo on bread.

She watched him quietly as he made his sandwich. She couldn't deny that she liked seeing him this way: wearing his faded jeans, a hoodie and converse, with his long, rowdy hair covering half of his face. It reminded her of their many weekend road trips. When he would dress more casual, they used to almost look the same age instead of their eight years apart. They had been so carefree during those weekends away from campus.

Edward turned around and caught her watching him. She blushed and looked away quickly. She went to grab the bottle of wine and noticed his duffle bag on the floor. She felt relieved that he was leaving. She poured the wine, sensing his eyes on her.

"Don't worry, I'm leaving now." Bella thought she could hear contempt in his voice. She raised her eyes to glare at him.

"Ok," she said before taking a sip of wine.

He sighed and weaved his fingers through his hair.

"You know this is _my _family's house, right?"

She flinched, feeling uncomfortable.

"You're right. We'll leave," she readily said. "You shouldn't be kicked out of your own home. I shouldn't have come here in the first place."

She spun around and rushed toward the door. Edward grabbed her arm, almost spilling her wine. Her heart skipped a few too many beats. This is the closest they've been since that fateful day.

"Bella, wait!" he begged. "I didn't mean it. Stay. I'm leaving."

His hand was still wrapped around her arm and Bella felt dizzy by the feel of his touch. Her breath was ragged. She yanked her arm off of his hold and turned to face him. Their eyes met and she felt this heavy tension between them. They were quiet for what seemed a long time and she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Edward finally looked away and shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It was wrong." He laughed bitterly. He looked lost and tired. "Everything I say and do is wrong," he muttered, his fingers raking through his hair with anguish.

Bella crossed her arms in front of her chest, trying to control the onslaught of emotions building on the inside. She didn't say anything. She knew that if she opened her mouth she would regret it.

"I hope he… Tony… enjoys it here. I want him to know this place. I used to love it here as a kid," he said softly, his voice full of something tender and wistful.

Bella studied Edward, not understanding why he seemed to care so much about Tony. His expression seemed to show longing and remorse.

"What did you mean when you said you didn't know about him?" she blurted out without thinking.

Edward blinked at the question and then met her anxious gaze.

"You never told me that you were pregnant."

Bella's stomach dropped. She hated that nagging pinch in her guts that made her feel uneasy.

"I did. I tried to call and email you, but you had changed them or blocked me, so I sent you a letter, to your place."

Edward frowned, confused. He felt knots gnawing in his stomach. He hated that feeling of missing something. A lost opportunity. He had had too many of those in his life.

"I never got it."

"You replied, Edward," she barked, her gaze meeting his with disgust. "It was _your_ handwriting."

He shook his head.

"I never got it, Bella. I swear."

Bella snickered without amusement.

"Why would I believe you? You're a liar, Edward," she snapped.

Edward cringed and lowered his head.

"I deserve that," he said.

"You deserve a lot worse than that!"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry for everything."

Bella closed her eyes and shook her head furiously, not wanting to hear him anymore.

They both heard noise coming from the living room and Bella snapped her eyes open, glancing toward the door.

"Why haven't you told Alice?" he whispered, looking back at her.

She shrugged. "I'm going to tell her."

"Okay." He said and paused for a while before talking again. "Are you going to tell Tony?"

Bella's chest twisted painfully and her eyes watered without her permission. She blinked a few times to ensure her tears were not going to spill.

"I don't know."

He nodded solemnly.

"It's your decision to make. But if you do tell him, I would like to be there for him, if that's okay with you. I want to be his dad," he vowed with so much conviction.

"I… I have to think about it," Bella replied, feeling disconcerted. She hated that his sorrow made her feel more compliant. She hated that she felt sorry for him after everything he did.

They heard Jasper and Alice again.

Edward picked up his duffle bag and gave Bella a small, saddened smile.

"Well, I should go," he said, reaching for his pocket. "This is for you," he added, handing her an envelope.

She stared at him as he walked out of the kitchen. She held the thin envelope tightly in her hand as she listened to him saying goodbye to his brother and Alice.

She hated that he was able to confuse her and make her doubt everything she thought she knew. She looked down at the letter burning her fingers, and tucked it in her back jeans' pocket. She would read it later tonight, when everybody else would be sleeping.

…

_You'll find out what Edward says in his letter soon..._

_meanwhile how do you think Bella handled the situation? What about Edward?_

_xoxo_


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 9

It was the dead of night and up in the mountains, it was eerily silent. Bella looked outside the window but she couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. She sat on the couch where she could remember cuddling with Edward years ago, kissing and talking about their future.

She held the envelop in her hands. Her heart was racing with apprehension. She was afraid of what was inside. Would his words make it better or worse? Did it matter now to find out his reasoning?

Bella told herself that what was done was done. Nothing would change it no matter what he said in this letter.

With trembling fingers, she opened the letter and noticed a small yellow post-it stuck to the letter.

She read the post-it note first.

_Bella, the letter enclosed was written 5 years ago. I sent it to your father's house, not knowing where you lived at that time. Unfortunately, the letter was returned to me and you never received it. I know that no matter what I say in the letter, it won't change how horribly I behaved towards you. I am sorry for all of the hurt I have caused. E_

Bella's stomach knotted with the thought that he had tried to contact her 5 years ago. That had been another rough year for her. She had just given birth to Tony then, and three weeks after his birth, her father had passed away from a heart attack during one of his shift at work.

After her dad's death, Bella had found support in Alice, who had been a nurse at the hospital where she'd given birth. Alice had suddenly taken charge of Bella. She'd taken care all of the administrative needs concerning selling the house, and Bella and Tony had moved in with her right after, finding an emotional anchor in her new friend.

Bella's chest started hurting, the painful memories wrecking through her. She couldn't help wondering what would've happened if she had received this letter back then.

…

_(5 yrs ago)_

_Edward grabbed a bottle of scotch and walked through the cold, suffocating house to his study. He hated everything about this new house his father-in-law had purchased for him and Tanya. Nothing felt like home here. _

_Edward sat in his study, which had become his safe heaven. He had even started sleeping here only a month after his wedding, unable to share a bed with his wife. This was the only place that reminded him of who he had been before his father had used him as a sacrifice to save the family. _

_Edward opened the bottle of scotch and looked around him as he poured a glass. Some of his old furniture had successfully been stored in this room. His old books were nicely arranged on his old bookshelf. He gazed at them with an ache in his chest._

_His missed his old life. He missed teaching. And he missed Bella more than anything. He whimpered meekly. The thought of her name felt like a cut through his heart. He quickly gulped his drink and squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the burn of the alcohol. The fire in his chest replaced the constant heartache that wrenched his inside._

_He took paper and pen out of his draw and wrote the date on it. Today was exactly a year since he had broken up with Bella. He remembered how she had come to him on that day straight from her dad. He had missed her enormously but he couldn't think about that. When he had opened the door for her, he'd marveled at how her worried expression on her beautiful face had transformed into a magnificent smile. He thought he had been prepared for that day, knowing that he needed to let her go in order to save his family. But the love and relief that brightened her face had made his determination to end things so painful. It'd all seemed so wrong suddenly and his ability to say anything had failed him. His breath had gotten caught in his throat and his heart broke as he watched understanding dawn on her. The agony in her eyes still haunted him to this day._

_Edward poured another glass of scotch, his strained fingers barely able to hold his glass without smashing it and swallowed the burning liquor at once._

_He looked down at the empty paper and started writing his truth._

…

Bella opened the letter slowly, her teeth unconsciously chewing her lower lip as she started to read the letter he had written exactly a year after they broke up.

_January 22__nd__, 2009_

_Bella,_

_I am writing this letter to apologize, from the bottom of my unworthy heart. I know this apology is one year too late. But I hope that you will read this anyway. _

_You deserve the truth about what happened a year ago and I know you deserved it back then. It was inexcusable the way I left you without any explanation and I will forever regret the way I treated you that morning after my bachelor's party. It was disgusting and horrendous and completely unforgivable. Bella, I swear that I will hate myself forever for what I've done to you. I don't go one day without thinking about you. I don't go one day without wishing that I could take it all back and make it better. _

_I am sorry, Bella. I am so completely sorry for the pain I have done to you. _

_Last Christmas, when you went home to Forks to spend the holiday with your dad, I wanted to surprise you. I knew that you hated all of the secrecy and the constant hiding. So I went to my dad and told him about you._

_I told him about my love for you and that I had proposed, and the bliss I felt that you had finally said yes. I told him about how smart and caring and funny you were. I told him how you made me a better man and how I was the happiest I had ever been thanks to you. Bella, believe me, this is the truth. You were the good in me. Without you, I'm just a broken, bitter man. _

_That's when my dad told me about an arrangement he had made with Mr. Denali. I was to marry his daughter. It was a business deal and I was a pion in their scheme. It felt very medieval, marrying two rich families to unite kingdoms and boost their power and fortunes. _

_I refused. I promise, Bella. I refused and yelled and felt utterly outraged by the mere thought of it. _

_I told him I would not lose you, ever. _

_We fought for days and he threatened to disown me and to call the school to tell them about you and to revoke my license. It didn't matter. He didn't scare me._

_I told him you were the only one that mattered._

_After days cooped up in my apartment, ignoring my family's calls and not showing up to their annual Christmas party, my mom visited me and convinced me to meet with my dad for an explanation. _

_She was caring and understanding and promised me that it would be my choice in the end. She was convincing and I agreed to meet with him._

_My dad was calmer this time and apologized for putting this burden on me. He said he knew it wasn't fair but that he had exhausted all other options. He explained about our family's financial predicament. Our corporation was horribly affected by the economic crisis and we were losing everything. The only option left was to merge with Denali Corporation. And the only way Mr. Denali would allow this merger was through a marriage – a family tie. _

_Bella, I hope you know me well enough to know that I don't care about business and money. You know I never wanted to be a part of that corporate world and refused to work for my dad. I don't need to be rich. I was satisfied as a professor._

_You are worth more than my dad's corporation, and I told him so._

_My dad talked about my mom's childhood and how hard it had been for her and my grandparents to be poor. The hunger, the hopelessness, the fear of never having enough to survive._

_He told me that we would lose everything, every asset, every dime we had. My parents would lose their house. My brother and my sister's husband would lose their jobs. My grandparents, who had suffered enough in their lifetimes, would lose our financial support._

_It had become a harder choice, Bella. It was between you and the wellbeing of my entire family. _

_I wanted to be selfish and tell them I didn't care. It wasn't my responsibility to save them. But I felt guilty and my parents were scared and this was the first time they ever asked for my help. They had been good parents, and had given my sibling and I everything we needed up until then. I felt like I owed them_

_I told them I needed time to think. To tell the truth, I hated them for putting me in this situation. It had been the hardest decision ever._

_A few days later, I spoke to my mom about you and told her how much you meant to me. I didn't think I could lose you and go on with their plan. Simply imagining having to break up with you and marrying another broke my heart._

_My mom told me about her first marriage. She had never shared about her past with me before. She told me she had been 19 when she'd married her first husband. She had been exactly your age. My mom had thought at the time that she loved him. He was her first love and she felt so attached to him. He was ten years older than her and wanted to build a family with her. She told me she had been so young that she believed that his dreams were hers too. She felt ready for that life and married him quickly. But reality eventually hit her. She was too young to be living the kind of life he wanted. He took her to business diners and to art openings and she felt so out of place all the time. The people around her talked about their past travels, their first jobs, their failed relationships. She realized that she was missing on so many life experiences. She wanted to travel, and study more and be independent before settling down to have a family._

_It made sense, Bella. And she was right to say that you were young and still needed time to explore and learn about what you really wanted in life. Every time I asked you to marry me, you asked me why I was rushing, and reminded me that you were still so young. I didn't listen to you and I pressured you. Sometimes, you acted so mature that I honestly forgot you were not even in your twenties yet. _

_This perspective helped me in making the decision. I realized that at the end, it might be better for everybody. I would save my family's business and prevent you from going through what my mom had lived through with her first marriage._

_It was the hardest decision I ever made, Bella, and I am still not sure if I made the right one. But I hope, truly hope, that you are happy wherever you are now._

_Love,_

_Edward_

_..._

And here it is... The truth... What do you say?

Your opinions and reviews are amazing! I love reading your reactions and remarks, both good and bad. The passion you all have encourages me to keep on writing :)

xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 10

Jasper dropped Alice, Bella and Tony off in front of their apartment building on Sunday evening. Tony had fallen asleep during the drive back from the mountains and Bella was now carrying him while Alice took care of their bags.

"Good luck with Edward," Alice told her fiancé as she kissed him goodbye. "Call me if you need to talk, okay?"

Bella's body reacted to the mentioned name. Edward and his letter was all she could think about. She felt as if she were in a daze, real life seemed all fuzzy and her mind was far away. She wondered if she felt like this because she hadn't slept at all after reading the letter.

She hated the her mind seemed to only focus on certain parts of his confession, like that signature: _Love, Edward. _This was the part that infuriated her the most. He had no right to sign "love"!

Jasper looked as if he hadn't slept well the night before either and made a grimace, looking up at Alice, worry etched in his eyes.

"Do you think it's really possible that my parents would force him to marry somebody? Why would they do that? They're so accepting and supportive with me… I'm… I'm confused."

"Baby, I'm sorry. Listen to what he has to say first and then let's deal with it together. Promise you'll call, ok?"

Bella felt her stomach flip again, her chest constricted. Even after reading the letter over and over, Edward's explanation was hard to swallow. She understood why Jasper would doubt the truth. It was hard to believe that Carlisle and Esme Cullen would do that to Edward. How would any parents impose such a heavy responsibility on their own son?

Once Jasper backed out and left, Alice opened the door.

"Ok, let's put this little prince to sleep."

Tony was tucked into bed, and Bella joined Alice in the living room, sitting next to her on the couch. She had made tea for the two of them and Bella was grateful as she took a sip of the peppermint tea.

"I'm glad you came up with us," Alice said, squeezing her friend's hand. "You seem different, less blue. You seem more alive or something."

"Strangely, I do feel like I have more energy. I got some needed explanations and found out things about the past I didn't know." Bella answered, contemplating her feelings and trying to understand what's going on on the inside. "It's like it gave me a spark, a fuel that is now burning. I think it's anger, though," Bella chuckled. "It feels better than sadness. I want to fight back."

Alice tucked a leg under her and turned to face Bella with big eyes.

"Anger's good. You can lash out and then let it go" Alice said seriously. "Sadness just rots on the inside." Bella noticed how Alice suddenly furrowed her brows in thought. "So, when did you get this new information about your past?"

Bella bit her lower lip and looked down at her hands. She knew tonight would be the night to finally tell her everything but she was worried about having everything in the open for the first time. Keeping her past secret made it way easier to avoid it. She carefully put her cup of tea down before facing her friend.

"Ok so, I want to tell you everything but I don't want you to freak out."

Alice rolled her eyes.

" You can trust me. I won't freak out."

Bella gave her a pointed stare and Alice extended her hand, with her little finger out.

"I pinky swear I won't freak out."

Bella smiled and hooked her pinky around her friend's and they swore.

"I've never told you about what happened before Tony was born but now I need to tell you."

Alice stilled. She had wanted to hear this story forever but had never tried to push Bella for fear she would go back into a depression.

"I was a college student at UDub and I fell in love with one of my professors. We dated secretly and I was head over heels in love with him. He seemed so perfect at the time. We even got engaged. I wanted to build a future with him. He was my everything."

Bella started to explain, feeling her eyes well up at the memories. It all felt like so far ago now, like if it had happened in a different lifetime. She had really, truly thought that he was the one for her back then.

"What happened?"

Bella shook her head. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes tightly. The next part would be the hardest to say out loud. When she reopened her eyes, Alice was looking at her with concern and sorrow.

"Alice, I have to tell you something but I'm afraid you'll be mad."

"I pinky swore, Bella. I won't freak out and I won't be mad."

Bella shut her eyes closed tightly again and blurted it out in one breath.

"Edward Cullen was my professor."

Alice gasped and then everything stilled.

Bella opened her eyes warily and found Alice with her mouth open and a big frown distorting her face. The silence that followed was heavy and uncomfortable.

Bella could feel the anger bubbling up inside of her friend and she feared the explosion. She didn't know whom Alice was going to be angry with.

"Alice? I'm sorry. I know I should've told you earlier. I just didn't want it to affect anything with Jasper. And somehow I was hoping I would be able to avoid him." Bella started to babble nervously. "Are you mad?"

Alice's eyes met Bella's and her gaze seemed lost. And then, in a swift move, her arms flung around Bella.

Bella froze, unsure if Alice was trying to hit her or hug her. But then she felt her friend tighten her hold on her to comfort her. Bella relaxed and hugged her friend back.

"I can't believe you had to go through seeing him again and keeping the truth to yourself. Oh my god, and yesterday at the cabin! With Tony!" Alice gasped in horror, seeing some of the recent events through a completely new perspective.

Alice squeezed her tighter "Are you okay?" Alice inquired with so much care Bella almost fell apart at once, her eyes welling up.

"I think so. I'm not sure," Bella stuttered, her voice throaty as she attempted to keep herself in one piece.

Even though there would be consequences later, having the truth finally out in the open felt pretty good. Bella hadn't realized how tensed and on edge she had felt since Alice's engagement until right now. The heavy burden that had been weighting her down disappeared at last.

Alice pulled back a little.

"You were engaged to Edward," Alice tried to get her head around it, utterly dumbfounded. "He's the devil incarnated that broke your heart. Tony's dad,"

Bella nodded her head, quickly drying a lone tear that had escaped. Her heart was racing, feeling jittery about having to retell her story.

"I didn't know he used to be a professor at UDub before working for his dad. So what happened after? You got caught?"

Bella was momentarily thrown off by what Alice had just said. She didn't know that Edward was now working for his dad. She felt an irritating tug in her chest at the sudden information.

"Hum, yeah he worked there before. We… We were together for a little over a year. I thought we were happy. But then he abruptly broke up with me. He said he'd met somebody else. And a few months later, he got married."

"To Tanya? But he just told Jasper that he was forced to marry her, right? How does that fit in? Did he tell you anything about it?"

Bella pulled her legs up to chest and wrapped her arms around them. She chewed her lower lip.

"Well, I just got the explanation this weekend. He didn't tell me anything back then. He kinda shut me off, never giving me a reason. I saw him again a few months after our break-up and we were both drunk and he acted like he still had feelings for me. He didn't tell me about his engagement or anything. We ended up sleeping together. I found out the next day that he was getting married that same morning. The night before had been his bachelor's party."

Alice stood in a flash.

"What! How could he! I can't believe that I ever spent anytime with this monster! I'm so disgusted that I ever spoke, and smiled at, and ate with that fucking asshole!"

Alice's voice was getting louder and louder. She started pacing.

"If I ever see him again, I will cut his manhood and make him eat it. I swear he better run away real fast or I'll..."

"Alice! Calm down," Bella begged. "You'll wake Tony."

Alice stopped immediately, her gaze quickly glancing toward the closed bedroom door. She shook her head and sat down next to Bella.

"Bella, what are you gonna do? What are you thinking?"

"He's Tony's dad." Bella whispered.

"No, he's not! He didn't want him."

Bella pressed her fingers against her temple, feeling like she was getting a headache from all the jumbled stories. She wondered how many versions of one story there could be. There were too many secrets and lies, and everything seemed confusing.

"He says he didn't know about it. He seemed pretty stunned at the dinner party last month at his parents'," Bella revealed.

"Do you believe him?"

Bella laughed dryly. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

A few tears escaped and she let them roll down her face, too tired to dry them.

"He says he wants to be a dad to him. I wish it were true, Alice. I want Tony to have a dad. I didn't have a mom growing up and you, you didn't have any parents. We know what it's like to be missing a parent. I don't want Tony to go through that."

Alice's face softened and she took her friend's hands in hers. Bella noticed that her eyes were red and she was crying too.

"They have the same eyes," Alice replied, her voice softer.

"Yeah, they do," Bella said, smiling slightly at the thought. She loved his green eyes.

"What else did he tell you? You said you got some needed explanation this weekend."

Bella looked at her friend, feeling at a loss. Her eyes tingled and she swallowed her tears. She was tired of crying.

"He gave me this letter yesterday explaining everything. He told me that his parents begged him to marry Tanya because their business was going bankrupt. He did it to save his family from losing everything. He saved them."

"And he dropped you without a word?"

"I guess he didn't love me as much as I thought," Bella answered in a broken voice.

Alice leaned forward and wrapped her arms once again around Bella.

"He doesn't deserve you anyway."

Bella wiped her tears. "But he did it for his family, right? He had no choice."

"He had no choice!" Alice fumed, pulling away so she could glare. She threw her arms in the air in exasperation. "Stop being so nice, Bella! You're being too considerate and caring! You need to punch him in the balls and curse his whole family, Bella!"

"You're part of that family now."

"Maybe I shouldn't!" Alice barked and her eyes pierced through Bella's. "Right now, I want nothing to do with them!"

Bella shook her head. "Alice, don't say that. Jasper is a good person. You love him. He loves you."

"Does Jasper know? Just tell me the truth."

"I really don't think he knew about me or what his parents did. He met me before but he doesn't seem to remember. He… he found us in Edward's bed the morning of his wedding. He's the one who told me that Edward was getting married. He drove me to the bus station. I was a real mess that morning and he took good care of me."

Alice buried her face in her hands. Bella stayed on her side of the couch, her arms firmly wrapped around her legs. She placed her chin over her knees and stared blankly at nothing in particular.

She was trying to sort her emotions. She was angry and sad but she didn't feel hatred toward Edward. She was utterly pissed that he never got the guts to explain everything to her. It really hurt her that he hadn't trusted her with the truth. But she couldn't hate him for his choice. She understood his choice. She was only a girl he had known for a year versus his whole family who he loved and had known forever. It was natural that he had chosen them over her. It had been the right choice. Now, she was able to recognize some of the traits she had loved in him in the past. He had been selfless, thinking about everybody else except himself. He wanted to make sure that everybody else was happy and taken care of before he would even try to think about his own happiness.

"How is it possible that out of all the men in Seattle, I fall in love with the brother of that asshole?" Alice broke the silence. "And his parents? They seemed so nice. I trusted them. How could they do that to their own son? And for money, really!"

Bella didn't answer. She knew that Alice didn't actually expect her to say anything right now. She was rambling, trying to digest all of the new information she got and to make sense of everything.

Bella couldn't help but feel the same kind of disgust for his parents as well. What his parents had done had been utterly selfish and cruel. She didn't hate Edward but she hated his parents.

Alice suddenly looked back at Bella.

"What kind of family am I marrying into?" Alice said before exhaling loudly. Tears slid down her cheeks. "I can't marry Jasper," she cried.

This time it was Bella who went to her and hugged her tightly. They held on to each other for a long time, not quite sure about what the future would entail now that the truth was out.

...

_And now Alice finally knows the truth! Good or bad?_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Alice had gone to sleep and Bella stayed in the living room. She stared into nothingness. She hated the feeling of being caught into a tornado and not knowing which side was up anymore. For six years, she had been standing on top of a ticking clock and now everything was exploding.

She sat a long time in the dimmed room, the silence of the night bringing little peace to her racing mind. She knew she was overtired and her heart was imploring for some rest, but she needed to figure some things out.

As she sat there alone, she didn't cry but every part of her was hurting. His words constantly popped into her head and it felt like tiny, piercing stabbings through her flesh.

_I was the happiest I had ever been thanks to you. You were smart and funny and caring._

His words played tricks to her heart. Did he really mean it? Had he actually felt something for her? Did he love her?

_You were the good in me._

Bella had even told Alice only today: he had never loved her as much as she had loved him. But, now, his words made everything so much more complicated. It wasn't black or white anymore but that stupid shade in between.

_I proposed and the bliss I felt when you finally said yes._

It had been so much easier to believe that Edward had never loved her. It had all made sense then. Because someone who loved you would never lie to your face and use you and then leave the next morning to marry someone else without a glance back.

Suddenly, her body shook and she started gasping for air. She felt like she was choking. She curled up and wrapped her arms around her chest, her broken heart throbbing painfully against her ribcage. She squeezed harder, trying in vain to keep herself from falling apart.

…

"What do you mean: you understand what Edward did? That doesn't help your case, just so you know! You should not be defending your brother right now!"

Bella woke, startled by Alice's voice. She was on the phone with Jasper and her voice carried through the apartment. Bella sat up and noticed she was still on the couch. She glanced at the time. It was almost time to wake up for work.

"How can I marry you when I hate your family, Jasper?" Bella overheard, her stomach twisting with guilt. It was because of her fucked-up relationship that Alice was now fighting with the man she loved.

"I'm done talking! Don't call back!" Alice barked, her voice carrying through the walls, and hung up.

Bella made her way to Alice's room and knocked before opening the door. Alice was pacing furiously, her face flushed red.

"Hey," Bella said as she reached her.

"All the Cullens deserve to burn in hell!" Alice exhaled, slumping down on her bed, tears filling her eyes.

Bella sat next to her and wrapped one arm around her.

"Only some of them," Bella joked with a sad smile. "Not Jasper. He had no part in this whole mess."

"At first, I was just mad at what the family did to you and I didn't want to be related to them. But now, Jasper is defending Edward, saying that he owes him everything. That without his sacrifice, none of them would be where they are now. He even said that Edward basically saved their grandpa's life because he would've never gotten the best oncologist in the country if not for their money and that he would've died because of complications. And then Jasper said that he would've never gone to grad school and achieved his dream. Uhh, he's trying to make him sound like a saint! I hate it! Not after the way he treated you!" Alice growled.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

"That makes him just as bad as Edward and his parents!" Alice groaned. "His choices didn't only affect them. It affected you, too, Bella. It was your life they messed around with," Alice pressed, "And it affected Tony's life."

Bella's heart dropped as realization hit her. _Tony._ She felt a wrenching burn sizzling under her skin. The anger that had been brooding deep in her started to boil and steam.

_They_ wrote the check. _They_ wanted her to have an abortion so that they could save their fortune. _They_ tried to kill her son.

The rage that exploded in her was monumental. She was seeing red. She needed to scream and kick and break something. In an instant, she was on her feet.

"Can you bring Tony to school?"

Alice frowned and looked at Bella in utter confusion.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"I need to go now. I need to talk to him. Do you know where he is?"

"He's at Jasper's. I can give you his address." She answered, finding a piece of paper to write it down. "Do you want me to come with you? I can kick him in the nuts for you."

Bella shook her head. "I need to do this on my own."

…

Bella drove into downtown, to Jasper's apartment. She had the piece of paper with the address in her hand. Her heart was pounding forcefully against her ribcage and her hands were shaking with fury.

She found the building number and she easily parked in front of the luxurious condo. She stepped out and she entered the building. The concierge at the front desk eyed her suspiciously.

"How can I help you?"

Bella was suddenly conscious that she was wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and she had slept in them too. She hadn't taken a shower, brushed her teeth nor brushed her hair. She probably looked like a crazy person.

"I'm here to see Jasper Cullen." She answered in a flat tone.

"What's your name?"

"Bella."

The man nodded and made a call.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen. I have a woman named Bella downstairs… Oh ok. No problem. Thank you, sir."

"You can go. Tenth floor. Apartment 10 B."

Bella went into the elevator and felt her heart hammering loudly. She was suddenly nervous. Her fingers brushed her hair to flatten it and she wished she had some mints for her breath. When she reached the tenth floor, she walked gingerly to his door and rang the bell.

Jasper opened and he looked like a mess too.

"Bella," he gasped, his voice full of sorrow. "I'm so sorry. I -"

Bella shook her head. "I'm not mad at you."

He pinched his lips together and nodded.

"Come in."

Bella took a deep breath and entered the apartment. She immediately saw him. He was leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, looking at her with intent. She met his eyes and they both stared silently.

"Uhm, I… I'll leave you two alone," Jasper muttered before disappearing.

Bella stood in the middle of the living room, her eyes glued to the man by the door. She was so mad at him, it burnt on the inside.

He swallowed hard and she noticed his Adam apple bob under his skin.

He finally pushed away from the wall and walked toward her. Her eyes followed him, her heart the only sound she could hear.

"Do you wanna sit?" He asked, his voice low and weak.

She realized he was nervous too.

Edward led her to the sofa and they sat with a distance between them.

She pulled the envelope out of her purse and handed it to him.

"I want you to read this."

"You wrote me a letter too?" He asked, surprised.

She shook her head and looked at him with difficulty.

His brows crunched up as he stared at the envelope. He looked back up at her and she narrowed her eyes, anger and pain melding in her chocolate eyes.

He opened the torn envelope and took the two pieces of paper from it. He looked at the check, confusion evident on his face. He examined it. He saw his name and his signature. He saw Bella's full name. He looked at the date and noticed it had been issued almost six years ago. His heart dropped and his head snapped up to look at her.

"I didn't write this."

She pursed her lips and closed her eyes. She was shaking with relief.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice so tender it broke her heart.

She shook her head vehemently. She opened her eyes and met his mournful gaze. She almost felt guilty for telling him about this.

"Read the note," she implored, her voice void of life.

He looked back down at his hand and read the other paper. He stared for too long. There were only four words but his eyes were glued to the tiny note forever. He seemed paralyzed and Bella panicked.

"Edward," she called out.

He rose stiffly and looked at her, his glazed eyes barely focusing on anything.

"I need a drink." He hissed and disappeared into the kitchen.

Her chest felt painfully tight as she watched him storm to kitchen. She looked down and saw the crumpled note next to her. The ache was unbearable. This little piece of paper was the worst torture in the world. _Take care of it. _These four words had caused her agony for six years.

Bella suddenly jumped, a loud sound of something shattering coming from the kitchen. She heard another boom and she quickly rose.

Jasper came running out of his room and stared at Bella with wide eyes.

"What is it?" he questioned, worried.

Another resonating bang came from the kitchen and Jasper rushed there. Bella followed and gawked at the scene in front of her. Jasper grabbed a frenetic Edward and held him firmly in his arms.

"Let me go!" Edward bellowed at his brother, fighting against his hold on him.

"Careful, Bella, there's broken glass everywhere," Jasper told Bella as he saw her approaching.

Bella blinked, suddenly seeing what surrounded her. She stilled. One of the walls was stained with alcohol and glass was shattered all over the floor. She exhaled, her breath shaky, and looked at Edward. The veins on his neck and forehead popped out with distress and his eyes looked wild. He seemed in so much pain. The chaos around them matched the turmoil inside of her.

She could do nothing to resist the tears that gushed out of her. She sobbed, her whole body quivering. She loathed what was happening to her, to Edward, to Jasper and Alice, to Tony. She wondered how this misery had become her life. What had she done to deserve so much heartache?

She felt two warm arms wrap around her and she buried her face into his chest. This felt so good and so wrong and so intense. Edward squeezed her gently, soothing her the best he could as she wept in his arms.

"I'm sorry, baby. It's all my fault. I never wanted any of this to happen." Edward professed, his mouth brushing her forehead. "I'm so sorry for everything."

She clutched his shirt tightly. His hold on her felt so comforting and she let herself go, letting everything out at last. He didn't try to hold in his own tears either, and they both cried in the middle of the kitchen, broken glass and stained walls surrounding them, as they hugged each other closely.

"I love you, Bella."

The words sent a jolt to Bella's heart and she was pushing away from him in a flash. She wiped her tears as she shook her head with defiance. These were the words that made everything more painful. She refused to believe his words.

"I can't," was all she could manage to utter before turning her back to him and leaving.

...

_So, yeah... Can't wait to hear what you guys think about this... _


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 12

_Edward was standing in the groom's suite in his pressed tuxedo feeling anything but excited. He could feel Jasper's gaze on him when he arrived at church. His brother's eyes pierced through him as if his skin were already broken and defenseless. He felt completely hollow._

"_Are you okay?" Jasper asked, sincere concern in his tone._

_Edward nodded. He didn't want to talk about himself. He wanted to ask about Bella, about how it went after he left, where she was now, what she'd said._

_He hadn't even looked at her this morning. His heart had shattered at the sound of her cry and he'd felt so very weak, so ready to be selfish and run away with her. If he'd met her eyes, he knew he would've fallen down to his knees and begged her to take him back. _

_But he couldn't be with her and it was heart-wrenching. Pure desolation ripped through him. _

"_I drove the girl to the bus station," Jasper whispered, feeling uncomfortable. "Who was she?"_

_Edward's gut twisted. She was his everything. The only woman he had ever loved. The person he had wished to spend the rest of his life with. _

_The woman he was giving up to marry the person his parents wanted him to instead. _

_He had to let her go. For the sake of his family. For Bella's sake. He had promised himself that he wouldn't drag her along in this awful reality. Bella didn't deserve to be involved in this mess. She was still so young and he told himself that she would be able to move on. He would be her first love but he couldn't be her last. _

"_Just a girl I met last night at the bar," he said instead, keeping his tone as casual as possible. "Did she tell you anything? Her name?" He asked, hiding the desperation in his voice._

"_She didn't say anything. She was crying though. A lot." Jasper said, his voice lower and a tone of accusation in his words._

_The guilt and shame that squashed his insides was brutal. What had he done?_

_His heart stopped and an indescribable puncture slashed through his chest. Edward stumbled backward and slumped into a chair. Immediately, he folded over, his head in between his knees and started to hyperventilate. The pain seared through his heart like nothing he ever felt before._

"_Eddie!" Jasper exclaimed in fear. "What's going on?"_

_Did she even know that he was at a church right now, getting married? How would she react if she knew?_

_Images of Bella span around in his head. Her tears and pleas and broken sobs haunted him. He couldn't believe that he had just left her in his room, naked and in pain and crying for him to explain. She had looked utterly broken. Because of him._

_Suddenly, the impact of his actions hit him hard, taking his breath away, and he felt each piece of his heart as it cracked and crumbled. He couldn't stand the agony that took over. _

_He glanced at the clock on the wall and wondered if he could still run to her. He could change his mind before it was too late. _

_But he knew that there was nothing he could offer her now because his choice had been made. He was going to save his family. It would only hurt her more in the long run to know that he loved her when there was no way for him to be with her. So he stayed away, letting her go without a word, without a glance back, so that she could hate him and forget about him, and finally move on. _

_After a while, Edward composed himself, resigned to follow through on the choice he'd made. He took a deep breath and stood up. He looked at his brother and shook his head._

"_It's just nerves. I'm ready now." He forced himself to smile and patted his brother's back reassuringly._

_Jasper eyed him with suspicion and then exhaled with relief. He fixed Edward's bowtie and smiled at him._

"_I had a glimpse at Tanya's dress and it's majestic." Jasper chatted, breaking the heavy silence. "Every guy in this part of town is green with jealousy!"_

_Edward pretended to listen when his parents walked into the room. _

"_It's time, son."_

…

"Eddie? Are you okay?" Jasper asked his brother, placing a hand on one of his shoulders. Jasper felt Edward's body jerk slightly at his touch before he brought his gaze up to meet his.

Jasper stared at his big brother with concerned eyes.

"It's all my fault. The way she's suffering," Edward exhaled, his whole body turning rigid, his fists clenching by his side. The cuts stung and he looked down at his bleeding hand. "It's all my doing. I can only blame myself for all of this. Not mom or dad or anybody else. It's all my doing."

Jasper pulled a chair back from the kitchen table and led Edward so he would sit down and sat next to him.

"You need to explain to her."

Edward shook his head.

"There's nothing I can say that will take away six years of hurt. What I did to her, and then with my son," Edward chocked on the last word, searing pain tearing through him.

He got up, unable to sit still and grabbed the broom. He started to clean up the mess he'd made.

"She has every right to hate me. I hate myself too."

"So you need to change whatever is wrong now and prove to her that you are remorseful. You need to fix your wrongdoing."

"I can't go back in time." Edward hissed, hopeless and angry with himself. "It's too late."

Edward swept the shards of glasses into the garbage.

"You won't lose anything trying, right?"

Edward faced his brother and blinked.

"I already lost everything."

Jasper got up and walked to his brother. He pulled him into a tight hug.

"So you have nothing to lose trying. Go and beg for forgiveness."

Edward pulled away and nodded.

"There's something more pressing I need to handle right now." He said, bitterness coating his words. Edward felt burning rage taking place in his chest at the thought of the note.

_Take care of it._

The animal instinct to protect what was his sizzled under his skin, ready to explode to defend his family, his own flesh and blood.

He pictured his son in his head. His mesmerizing, big green eyes on pale, freckled skin and the way the darkness of his hair framed his face so perfectly, making the contrast so stunning.

Edward drove to his house, feeling restless and on edge. He knew he should control his fury before facing her because he could really hurt her badly. Worst, he wanted to hurt her badly. What she did was sickening, utterly beyond pardonable.

He had never liked his wife very much but now there were no words to what he felt for her. It was beyond hatred.

He parked in their driveway and stepped out. It was still early enough in the morning to ensure that Tanya would be home. She usually made her social appointments for later in the day.

He opened the door and entered. It had been at least a year that he hadn't stepped in and it didn't feel like home at all. He looked around. Surprisingly, nothing had changed.

He heard noise in the living room and crossed the long hallway to join his wife.

Tanya was bent in a downward dog position and a young, muscular man stood behind her, his hands on her hips.

"Honey, I'm home." Edward said in a harsh, sarcastic tone.

Tanya remained in her yoga pose and turned her head to look at her husband.

"Eddie, baby, you're back from work, already?" She asked in a sweet voice, obviously pretending to not be surprised by his visit. "I was just telling Laurent here that you work so much, it's hard for us to have anytime together. He's been asking to meet you." She added as she stood and wiped her face with a towel.

" Hi, I'm your wife's yoga instructor," the man said, extending his hand to Edward.

Edward ignored him and looked at Tanya.

"I have no time and absolutely no patience to play pretend, Tanya. Cut your lesson short. We need to talk."

The sweet, innocent expression on her face changed immediately at his tone. She turned to Laurent and apologized.

"Can we reschedule for Wednesday?"

The yoga instructor gave a short nod and grabbed his duffle bag. As he slithered by Edward, he glanced at him.

"Women need to be treated with delicacy," Laurent said in a French accent. "You should make more time for your wife, sir. She's lonely."

"She won't be my wife for much longer," Edward responded.

Tanya gasped, her eyes bugling out. Laurent glared at Edward momentarily but didn't say anything else after that. Finally, he left the room. As soon as Tanya heard the front door close behind Laurent, she barged toward Edward with anger.

"Do you know what you just did! He's Jane's yoga instructor as well. He will tell her about this! Everybody will know about what you just said!" She cried and raised her hand to slap him but he stopped her easily, his fingers closing around her wrist tightly.

"I am extremely angry right now, Tanya, so you better not make things worse for you." He snarled at her, his eyes boring into hers with animosity, his fingers digging into her flesh a little too strongly.

She noticed the seriousness and backed away, pulling her hand from his firm grasp. She stared back at him, trying in vain to hide her nerves.

"Do you want something to drink? I know how much alcohol soothes you," she said with a smirk.

He ignored her reproach and pulled the envelope from his inside jacket pocket and threw it at her. Tanya picked it up and looked confusingly at the envelope before opening it. Her eyes grew when she saw the check and she looked back up at Edward in alarm.

"She asked for the money. She knew you were rich and she used it to get what she wanted. I didn't even think she was really pregnant."

Edward's body clenched, his muscles tightening with fury. This was all the confirmation he needed to prove it was her who wrote the note.

"Stop lying. I know her. It was never for the money. She never even deposited the check." He screamed, his fist pounding on the dining table. Tanya jumped at the sound.

"You tried to kill him, Tanya. You wanted to kill my son."

"No. That's not true. Don't make me look like a killer. He… _It_ was a fetus. And she wanted the money to have an abortion. She's the one who wanted to kill it."

"Shut the fuck up!" he barked.

She walked closer to him and peered up at him from under her long eyelashes.

"Baby, I did it for you. I knew that it had been hard for you to break up with her. I saw how much you missed her. And I just wanted you to stop suffering."

She placed her hand on his chest and rubbed gently. Edward stepped back and glared at her.

"So you hid the fact that I have a son, and told her to terminate the pregnancy?"

Her voice was soft when she answered.

"She asked for the money. She wanted the abortion. I just thought it would be best for you if you didn't know about it."

"Sometimes I wonder if you actually believe all the crap you make up. Maybe you're literally insane!" Edward said as he stormed by her and headed to her office. She followed behind him as he entered the room and opened her draw.

"What are you doing?" She asked, some of her fierceness back.

He looked through her papers and finally found what he was looking for. He placed it in her hands.

"Sign them. Now. I won't wait any longer."

"Eddie, baby," Tanya whined. "Let's talk. I don't want a divorce." Tears rolled down her face.

"I've given you time. I went to couple therapy. I kept secret that we were separated. I did it for you because you made me feel guilty. I felt bad for you. But you were just manipulating me. I am so done. I see through you, now. I see what a horrible person you really are."

Tanya cried and approached him slowly.

"I know we were forced to marry. I know you never wanted me. But I can make you happy. Please, don't leave me. I love you. Give me a chance, Eddie."

Edward shook his head in disgust.

"We have an appointment with the lawyers tomorrow at 3p.m. I can find another way to divorce you if you refuse to sign these papers but I guarantee that it would be way uglier and all of your dear friends will have so much more to gossip about."

He turned around and walked away, knowing that this was the very last time he would ever step into this house.

...

_We finally know who wrote the note! Many of you guessed it right... Who's surprised? _

_Man, I've been stirring some strong reactions from you guys lol! I hope you're still all enjoying the ride! And THANKS again for your amazing comments and reviews. I read every single one of them 3 _


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